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The Divorce Blog
Professional Advice from our members.
22 Things to talk to about with you Significant Other
Written by Divorce Professional Pamela George Did you know that it costs approximately $243,660 (CAD) to raise a child to age 18 (excluding inflation costs)? Now this is the kind of thing couples need to chat about. If you’re in a serious relationship or engaged and are avoiding the money conversation because you’re afraid of starting an argument, please know that you’re not alone. In fact, this is quite common. But, that doesn’t make it okay! Money and your money compatibility (or lack thereof) can play a huge role in your relationship. If you’re not openly engaging in conversations like this that make you a little uncomfortable, that discomfort is going to grow and come out in other ways down the line. I honestly believe every couple should attend financial counselling before they get married to ensure they’re aligned in their goals and values, and are aware of each other’s financial circumstances. However, if you’re looking to start this conversation on your own, I’ve created a list of the top 22 things that couples fight about when they come to me for financial counselling. Please know that these conversations will likely be difficult at the start but it does get easier. In general I’d recommend you start […]
Divorce Straight Talk with LMR Lawyers
The Family Law Group at LMR Lawyers are proud to partner with Divorce Straight Talk to present seminars to the public about divorce and separation. The seminars will be presented by Zoom and are free to attend. It is necessary to register for the sessions however. The next sessions are scheduled on: March 22 at 7 PM April 20 at 12 PM (noon) They are scheduled for ninety minutes. The seminar will feature a Financial Professional, a Family Professional, a Mortgage Broker and a Family Law Lawyer. Each of the panelists will provide general information about divorce and separation from their own professional perspective. Several of the panelists are also trained mediators and Collaborative Professionals. There will be a presentation from each of the specialists and there will be an opportunity to ask questions of the panelists. The seminar is open to anyone. However, the panelists are all trained and licensed in the Province of Ontario and they all work in the Ottawa area. If you reside in Ontario and are thinking about separation or divorce, or if you are already separated from your spouse, or if you know someone that is or may be separated or divorced, […]
5 tips for dating post-divorce
The idea of dating after divorce can seem very daunting. It may be years since you have been on a date and you could be wondering where to start. Depending on how long you have been single you may be feeling the pressure from family and friends to “get back out there”. However, there are some important things to consider upon re-entering the dating world, especially if your goal is to meet a new life partner. Make sure you are ready It is very important to be honest with yourself when it comes to deciding whether you are ready to start dating. Are you ready to take the lessons you learned from your past relationship and apply them to a new one? Or are the memories still too painful and fresh? The amount of time it takes to heal from a divorce varies for everyone and it is important to make sure you are ready before you “test the waters” and start dating. If you are still feeling emotionally vulnerable from your divorce it may be difficult to make good choices in a new relationship. Know your values As part of the healing process, getting to know yourself again is […]
Having separate bank accounts doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner
Written by Divorce Professional Pamela George Do you have negative connotations associated with the idea of keeping separate accounts to manage your money in a relationship? Society promotes a lot of misconceptions regarding how you should manage your finances when in a relationship. Unfortunately, that means many people feel pressured to conform to certain “rules” that promise to lead to a “happier relationship.” Let me know if any of these sound familiar: If you don’t combine all of your finances as one, you don’t love your partner.If you don’t share a bank account, you don’t trust your partner.Separate accounts mean that one person does all the work or is held less accountable than another.If you keep separate accounts, you’re more like roommates than partners. These viewpoints simply aren’t true! Keeping a separate bank account or having your finances separate from your partner’s finances can be a great way to maintain control and autonomy over your finances. This helps to avoid what I see as a big problem with the couples who come to me – they don’t lose themselves and their dreams. Keeping finances separate or having just one account that is yours alone keeps my clients feeling like they […]
3 ways to take care of yourself during divorce or separation
Life is busy and keeping on top of everything can be difficult at the best of times. Carving out time for self-care is important for everyone but it is even more essential when going through a major life change like separation or divorce. Here are three ways you can take care of yourself to make sure you don’t end up in mental and physical burn out. Give yourself time Many people going through separation or divorce want to get it over with. It can be a painful process and it may seem very attractive to make quick decisions to get though the process as quickly as possible. On the other hand, some people feel paralyzed with anxiety and fear when it comes to making any decision regarding their separation because they feel immense pressure to make the best decision for themselves and their children. The key here is to give yourself time. Allow yourself the time to process your emotions and get in touch with the right professionals who will help guide you through the process. Rushing through it or feeling bad because you can’t seem to make any decisions will not help you in the long run. Be kind […]
What is Arbitration?
Staying out of court during the separation process is ideal for a lot of couples. Hiring a mediator is often a great way to have someone help you resolve your differences. Unfortunately, in some cases, this is not enough and a third-party needs to be called in to make a decision; This is where arbitration comes in. Arbitration can be used to resolve a single issue or several outstanding issues. Here are a few commonly asked questions about arbitration and how it works in the divorce process. What is Arbitration? Arbitration is a process that is very similar to court. It is helpful in resolving issues on which the couple has reached an impasse and can’t resolve by agreement. At this point the parties select an arbitrator to decide on the outstanding legal issues. Arbitrators are often senior lawyers or retired judges. How does it work? The process is relatively formal and similar to court, with parties making opening statements, calling witnesses, presenting evidence and giving closing statements. The kind of evidence required will vary with each case but may involve affidavit (written) evidence or oral testimony. After hearing the evidence and submissions the arbitrator writes a decision, called an […]
How to avoid 3 common mistakes after divorce
After the upheaval of your divorce, you have the opportunity for a fresh start and to explore your answer to the question “Now what?”. The challenge is avoiding things that can interfere with your plans for the future. Here are three common pitfalls of recently divorced people and how to avoid them. Allowing the advice of others to influence the choices you make It is natural to look for support from family and friends when you are going through a divorce. With so many decisions to be made it’s helpful to have the advice of an expert or to ask for a second opinion, especially when the decision has long-term consequences. But as you make plans for your future, you may find yourself receiving unsolicited advice. With the best of intentions, friends and family are often eager to give you advice on what they believe is best for you. Remember, their advice is based on their perspective on life and their experience. It may not take into account your vision for your life or include any new ideas and plans that may be percolating in your mind. If the advice doesn’t feel right or you are leaning towards taking the […]
What’s your money talk excuse?
Written by Divorce Professional Pamela George “I have a headache”“I’m too tired”“I’m too busy”“I don’t want to right now” No, I’m not talking about sex, at least not directly. Do you say those words to your partner when they ask to talk to you about money or when they ask you to sit with them while they pay some bills? If you do, your partner might be feeling rejected, unloved, unappreciated, unheard or lonely, just like if you had said those words when your partner initiated sex. As a Financial Counsellor, I see the connection between sex and money in my practice, almost every day. Just like how sex is not only about the physical, so too, money is not only about the numbers. Both are seeped with emotions and vulnerability. If you are part of a couple and you are not talking about money because you are afraid of starting an argument, please know, you are not alone. In fact, this is quite common. What I have found works, is to start small. Set aside 15 minutes a month to either pay a bill or two or to open up some bills and see what needs to be paid. […]
CLEAN BREAK: Insurance Policies and Divorce
Sharyn Hillier from Hill Life Financial joins Daren & Tina on the Clean Break Podcast to talk about what’s important to you, advise on navigating divorce and insurance, taking care of the kids and who really owns the policy during a divorce. Find Sharyn on DivorceNet and at www.hilllife.ca Looking for your divorce professional? DivorceNet is here to guide you to the right person. www.divorcenet.ca Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: Financial adjustments during a pandemic
Pamela George from Pamela George Financial Literacy sits down with Daren Givoque & Tina Murray about the struggles of sole proprietorship during the beginning of the pandemic, dipping into her own emergency fund, taking her own advise, seeing how her client’s needs have changed and battling her own mental health struggles as we manage Covid-19. Pamela is finding herself helping more and more clients navigating divorce and she’s here to help you. Find Pamela at https://pamelageorgefinancialliteracy.com/ or here on DivorceNet to connect for your own financial needs. Looking for your divorce professional?DivorceNet is here to guide you to the right person.www.divorcenet.ca Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
Developing mental toughness during divorce
We all have a dialogue that plays in our head. During stressful times this dialogue can either get in the way or help you cope. The problem for most of us is that our inner voice can be highly critical. And this can be exacerbated when you’re going through a particularly emotional situation. A divorce can trigger a whole gamut of emotions: Grief, shame, sadness, regret and fear are all common when dealing with a marital breakdown. More positive emotions like relief may also be a part of your experience. No emotion is off the table. When going through a divorce you’ll have to make a lot of important decisions that will shape your new life. This can be extremely difficult when you’re dealing with all those emotions. Your inner dialogue may be contributing to your distress as it overwhelms you with thoughts of failure and self-doubt. It’s important to realize that you’re not alone in this experience and there is something you can do about it. You’re not alone Everyone deals with anxiety and self-doubt. Even top athletes (who have won world championships and Olympic medals) talk about the little voice inside their head that undermines them as they […]
CLEAN BREAK: Helping Families through divorce with Jennifer Reynolds
Jennifer Reynolds from Fresh Legal is our guest this week on the DivorceNet podcast, Clean Break, with hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray!We talk about working with families through a divorce without stepping into the courtroom, with mediation and collaborative law. Jennifer has been working in family law for 12 years and opened her law firm, Fresh Legal, 6 years ago to help families through the divorce process and to help them work together and guide them to their next steps in the process. You can find Jennifer and her team, and more information at www.freshlegal.ca Looking for your divorce professional? DivorceNet is here to guide you to the right person. www.divorcenet.ca Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: Family Law with Tanya Parker Wallace
The discussion dives right into litigation versus mediation and collaborative law, and how it all works with Tanya from Parker Wallace Family Law. Daren and Tina loved the discussion about family law with Tanya, talking about the differences and how it would benefit the client and types of situations. We talk cost, lawyers and more! Find Tanya at https://www.pwfamilylaw.ca/ Hosts: Daren Givoque and Tina Murray Questions about your next steps? Connect with us at firstname.lastname@example.org Connect with us on Social MediaFacebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
Traveling with kids after divorce
There are a lot of things to learn/re-learn about life after divorce or separation. If you have kids, new routines need to be created and custody rights need to be observed. Traveling with your children after you have separated from their other parent is something that needs your attention as it is much more complicated now that you are no longer with your spouse. Here are some things to keep in mind if you want to travel with your kids post-separation. Plan in advance Make sure to plan out when you want to travel with your children because you must ensure there is consent to travel from the other parent. You must consider the timing and whether the trip interferes with their other parent’s scheduled time with the children. You will also want to check if there are any travel restrictions or warnings for your planned destination and alert the other parent if there are. If there is a joint custody arrangement, the other parent may not agree for the child(ren) to go to a place that has travel restrictions. Review your Separation Agreement or Parenting Plan Make sure you know what your Separation Agreement or Parenting Plan says when […]
CLEAN BREAK: What DivorceNet means to us
The DivorceNet team sits down and chats candidly about what the group really means to them, their favourite moments over the years and what they look forward to with the group following the difficult year of 2020. Join us here on www.DivorceNet.ca and all our social media to find out the latest information, find your divorce professional and more! Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
3 signs your marriage may not be working
It is not unusual for people to hide their heads in the sand when it comes to the reality of a failed relationship. Deciding when to get a divorce is not easy and comes with significant heartbreak and emotional upheaval, no matter how unhappy the marriage has become. It is difficult for many people to realize when it is time to pull the plug, especially if they have been in an unhappy marriage for a long time. Here are some of the tell-tale signs that getting a divorce may be the best option for you and your partner. No communication Communication is a key component to any relationship. It ensures that you grow together as a couple rather than apart. While it is normal for communication in a relationship to go through peaks and valleys it becomes a problem if you or your spouse are not willing to work things out when you are going through a tough time. Often one spouse is present, while the other is starting to pull away and is not willing to talk it out either one on one or in therapy. It takes effort from both parties to move on from a communication breakdown […]
CLEAN BREAK: Parenting Mediation with Melissa Lafreniere
On this week’s Clean Break Episode Daren & Tina chat with Melissa Lafreniere, Psychotherapist and Mediator. Melissa also works in collaborative law with families with Alt Divorce. Her practice focuses on the children and how to support them through a separation or divorce. If you are interested in knowing more about Melissa and her practice, you can find her at:www.facebook.com/altdivorcewww.altdivorce.com HostsDaren Givoque, CDFATina Murray, Mortgage Agent Find your divorce professional here on DivorceNet.ca
CLEAN BREAK: Navigating Selling Through Separation
Author, Adam Mills, sits down with Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about navigating the hot market as a realtor, selling your home or buying in this kind of market and talking candidly about his new book, “Navigating Selling Through Separation“. What options do you have in front of you?How assets can be divided in Ontario Contact Adam and his realtor team at https://www.ottawaishome.com/ Are you looking for a divorce professional? Find them here on www.divorcenet.ca
Debt income ratios and getting a mortgage
Buying a house is not easy and the complex mortgage industry doesn’t make it any easier. There are few factors that go into whether a bank or private lender will give you a mortgage. Some people think that as long as you have a good income getting a mortgage will be easy, but that is not necessarily the case. Banks and other lenders rely heavily on debt servicing ratios to decide whether a person is eligible for a mortgage and how much they will lend. Gross Debt Servicing and Total Debt Servicing are calculated with every mortgage application to decide how much the lender is willing to finance. What is Gross Debt Servicing? Gross Debt Servicing (GDS) is a key debt servicing ratio that lenders look at to see whether they will finance a mortgage on a property. The GDS is calculated by adding up all your housing related costs (mortgage agents call this PITH, principal, interest, taxes, heat) and dividing it by your net taxable income. In Ontario your PITH generally cannot represent more than 39 per cent of your income. What is Total Debt Servicing? Total Debt Servicing (TDS) is another important debt servicing ratio that lenders look […]
Five inexpensive ways to get your house ready to sell
Selling your house can be overwhelming at the best of times. Putting your family home on the market because of a separation or divorce is another can of worms. During the divorce process tensions are running high and stress can be at it’s max. Getting a good price for the family home is often integral in the divorce settlement so that both parties can move on comfortably. During a divorce there isn’t a lot of money to throw around either, as the divorce itself can be quite expensive. Here are a few tips and tricks that can make your house stand out, without breaking the bank. Declutter your home This is something you will want to do when you move anyway, so why not do it ahead of time? People looking at your house want to be able to imagine their stuff in the home and having your personal items all over the house can get in the way of that. Not only do you want to get rid of any unnecessary items you also want to make sure to de-personalize the home. Put family photos away, take your name off the mailbox, get rid of or stow anything that […]
Fair is Not Always Equal: Why you should talk to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
When a person or couple starts looking into divorce it is hard to know where to turn. It is commonplace to have a lawyer or mediator handle the legal aspects of the divorce and ensure that the division of assets are equitable and fair. While divorce lawyers and mediators are excellent at applying the law, understanding people’s rights and negotiating with other lawyers in a legal framework, they don’t specialize in the intricacies of dividing assets. In many cases finding a situation that is fair to both parties may not be as simple as dividing the assets 50/50. This is where the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) comes in. A CDFA provides clarity, accuracy and equity through a collaborative divorce process. They are experts in all the financial aspects of divorce. A CDFA’s role is to help divorcing couples address the financial issues of divorce using data to help achieve equitable settlements. They are well versed in analyzing financial records and investments and identifying possible tax consequences that come along with liquidating assets. A CDFA will work with the divorcing individual or couple to create a comprehensive financial plan. This report outlines all the assets involved in the divorce, taking […]
How to budget for a divorce
Budgets are important no matter what life stage you are at. Any financial adviser, accountant or even your own mother will tell you that having an idea about what your expenses are and where your money is going is imperative to ensuring financial security. When it comes to divorce, sitting down and figuring out how separating from your partner will affect your life financially is just as important. The reality is that very few people are better off financially after a divorce. It may not be an easy task, but taking a look at the following items will ensure that you are not stuck sitting at your kitchen table with a bunch of bills you can’t pay. The first thing you need to do if you are contemplating divorce is to start tracking your spending as a family unit as well as your household income. How much do you and your partner bring into the house and how much of it is used to pay essential bills like water and electricity? How much do you spend on groceries? What are your mortgage payments? If you have kids, what expenses are you looking at when it comes to taking care of […]
Cohabitation agreements during the COVID-19 pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic has completely changed how we live and work. With the stay at home order in late March, many couples chose to self-isolate together, rather than spending months apart. For couples who have never lived together this comes with a variety of complications. People that chose to move in together quickly, may not have thought about some of the longer-term implications of cohabitation. In Ontario, the laws of property equalization do not apply to those who are living together, only married couples. This means that should your living arrangements end, and you are forced to divide up assets, there is not law saying that they must be divided equally. This can be even more complicated of one party ends up being financially dependent on the other. Ontario’s Family Law Act states that for spousal support to apply after a relationship ends, a couple must be cohabitating for at least three years, or have a relationship of some permanence and a child. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move in with your significant other. In fact, it is quite common for couples to live together before getting married. However, it is always a good idea to consider a cohabitation agreement […]
Tax Tips: What you need to know about divorce and taxes
Nothing is certain in life except death and taxes. Nothing is more true, especially when navigating the complex and emotionally charged world of divorce. There are many tax implications that you need to watch out for both during the equalization process and after you and your partner have separated. Here are a few things you need to know to make taxation work for you and make sure you reach the best settlement possible for your situation. Consider the value of each asset after taxes This may be the most important thing you do in your divorce settlement. When you are looking at equalization it is important to consider the value of each asset AFTER taxes because assets will be taxed differently. For example, imagine you and your spouse own a house that is worth $400,000. Your partner also has non-registered investments totaling $100,000 and an RRSP that is worth $300,000. That comes to a total of $800,000 of which you are entitled to $400,000, or half. In this case the investments will be taxed at a rate of 20% while the RRSP will be taxed at a rate of 40%, leaving you with only $260,000 of the $400,000 once the […]
Real Estate and Divorce: Buying, Selling, Renting
There are many things to consider when going through a divorce. It is a major life change that is emotionally charged, making decisions about the future even more difficult. One of the most important things to look at during a separation or divorce is where you are going to live once you are split from your partner. There is often a home involved and what you are going to do with the home you built together needs to be decided. The decision about where to live and what to do with your home may seem daunting. But, considering the following will help you make the decision that is best for you and your family. Consider the value of your house When going through a divorce putting a value on all your assets is important. Often the family home is the biggest asset you have together and therefore you need to figure out how much it is worth. This will also help you decide whether to sell the house, or how it can be traded for something else in the equalization process. Mortgages on a single income Real estate can look a lot different when you are coming at it from […]
What happens to an RESP in a divorce?
Dividing assets can be a tricky business when it comes to divorce. Throwing a savings account that affects your child’s future into the mix can make things even more complicated. RESPs are a great way to save for your child’s education but deciding what to do with them if you and your partner separate is no walk in the park. Here are a few things to consider about RESPs when going through a divorce. What is an RESP? A Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) is one way that a lot of Canadian parents save for their children’s post-secondary education. It is an investment account that allows parents to save money while receiving grants and incentives from the federal and some provincial governments. In an RESP money can grow on a tax-deferred basis and the government will contribute up to $7200 per child (beneficiary) depending on the amount of your contributions. The money in an RESP belongs to the subscriber, not the beneficiary Even though the funds are there to be given to the children, money in an RESP is the property of the subscriber not the beneficiary. Depending on how an RESP is set up, the account could either have […]
Prenups in Ontario: What you need to know
Talking about money is not an easy thing when it comes to relationships. It becomes especially complicated when two people have different ideas about money or one has more than the other. When a couple is ready to take the next step by getting married or moving in together the topic of a prenup may come up. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but a necessary one if you have valuable assets that you would like to protect. Here are a few things to consider when broaching a prenuptial agreement. In Ontario law a prenup is called a domestic contract While you may know the word prenup from TV and Hollywood movies the term is an American one. In Canada, and Ontario in particular, prenups are called domestic contracts. Domestic contracts cover both marriage contacts and cohabitation agreements and act in a similar way to the American prenup. Both are used to organize a couple’s finances, clarify their rights and responsibilities in relation to one another and govern the division of property should they decide to part ways. Domestic contracts are used for more than just protection of assets Although one of the main purposes for a domestic […]
4 things mortgage brokers need to renegotiate a mortgage
A home is usually the biggest asset a couple has to consider when going through a divorce. Navigating the complex world of mortgages is not an easy task and knowing how to deal with a home when it comes to reaching an equitable settlement can be complex. Mortgage brokers are your best ally when it comes to dealing with the intricacies of property ownership, divorce and figuring out the best option when it comes to your home. Here are 4 things a mortgage broker will need to complete this process. A written and executed separation agreement signed by both parties A separation agreement will break down what the division of assets will be. It will also lay out any ongoing financial responsibilities for either parties like child or spousal support. This has to be taken into consideration when it comes to the affordability of the mortgage for the spouse that is keeping the house. The separation needs to be finalized meaning that it must be the final document that has been agreed upon by both parties. Separation agreements that are in the process of being negotiated are of no use to a mortgage broker as it will not deliver an […]
Money Matters: How to keep financial issues from ruining a relationship
Financial problems are the leading cause of relationship breakdown. In fact, a Bank of Montreal poll found that fighting over money was the top reason for divorce among Canadians, even ahead of infidelity. A recent BDO Canada poll found that many Canadians are hiding financial secrets from their partners. In a world that survives on dual income households, it has never been more important for Canadians to be open and honest about their finances. 3 in 5 Canadians wish they could change their partner’s financial habits The BDO poll found that most Canadians say there’s something about their partner’s finances they wish they could change. Overspending, not saving and not keeping track of spending were the most common complaints. Unfortunately, many might not be communicating these concerns—the poll found that 36 per cent of Canadians rarely or never talk about money with their partner. Only 70 per cent say their partner knows everything about their finances, while the rest are keeping secrets. Women seem more worried about their partner’s savings Another stat that stood out in the poll: 42 per cent of women wish their partner would save more for retirement, compared to 29 per cent of men. Women are […]
How to buy a new house after separation or divorce
One of the key steps in the divorce process is finding a new place to live. Once you and your partner have decided to split you will probably be wanting to find your own place sooner rather than later. If you are already a homeowner, you might be thinking about trying to stay in the housing market and buying something new. While this is a great idea in principle, there is a very important document you need to have on hand before going out in search of a new home. A separation agreement. As a mortgage agent I can’t stress the importance of a finalized separation agreement enough. Without one it will be very difficult for you to get a mortgage for a new home. The separation agreement will outline things like what is being done with the matrimonial home, child support and alimony. All these will directly affect your ability to qualify for a mortgage, regardless of whether you go with one of the “big 5” banks or another mortgage company. Matrimonial home If you already own a home with your ex, the separation agreement will outline whether the house is going to be sold or whether it is […]
CLEAN BREAK: Self Defence is for EVERYONE
Beth and Rob are back on the Clean Break Podcast with hosts Daren & Tina to talk about Stress Safe Self Defence course and how this program is for everyone. Beth and Rob get real about how this program can change a person, help them feel empowered and safe and go deep into defending yourself as a male in the world. Tune in to hear how this program can help you. Find the Street Safe Self Defence at https://streetsafeselfdefence.com/ Contact today at 613-340-8002 Looking for your divorce professional? DivorceNet is here to guide you to the right person. www.divorcenet.ca Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: Divorce Proceedings during COVID
Cynthia Squire from Lister- Beaupré Lawyers is here on the podcast with Daren & Tina to discuss what’s happening with courtrooms, divorce cases and more as we continue through COVID and navigate what’s open and not during the legal process. You can reach Cynthia Squire at Lister-Beaupré Lawyers at:http://www.listerlawyers.com/team/cynthia/ | 613-234-2500 | email@example.com://www.divorcenet.ca/item/lister-beaupre-lawyers/ Find your divorce professional here on www.divorcenet.caCheck out our socials: Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram
CLEAN BREAK: What is S.E.N.A.T.O.R.S. and how it can help with stress!
Cindy Little from Health 2 Wealth is here on the Clean Break Podcast to talk with Daren & Tina about stress management and tools to help reduce your stress by going over her ‘go-to’ tool, SENATORS. We talk about sleep, tryptophan, and so much more! Tune in to hear what SENATORS stands for and how all these tools can help bring your stress levels down, management the stress levels and get you through this crisis. Find Cindy on Facebook or on her website at http://health2wealth.ca/ Find your Divorce Professional here on DivorceNet.caFacebook | LinkedIn | Instagram
CLEAN BREAK: Collaborative Law with Jim Jeffcott
Jim Jeffcott from Low Murchison Radnoff LLP joins Tina & Daren today to discuss collaborative law, how it can be cost-effective for the divorcing parties, helping them communicate together (whether they agree or not) and work outside of the courtroom. Find Jim on here on DivorceNet https://www.divorcenet.ca/item/jim-jeffcott/ Looking for your divorce professional?DivorceNet is here to guide you to the right person.www.divorcenet.ca Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
SENATORS – the acronym you need for managing your stress
When it comes to reducing stress, there isn’t one solution. Many factors come into play. Here is an acronym that explains some of the things you can work on to reduce your stress. SENATORS S-Sleep The most restorative sleep is between the hours of 10pm and 2AM. Your adrenal glands get the best repair between these hours. Your adrenal glands control adrenaline and cortisol, regulation of metabolism and immune system suppression, blood pressure regulation and balance of sex hormones. Aiming for 5-8 hours of good deep sleep is recommended. Avoid cell phones and other electronics near your bed and, if possible, have them 6 feet away. Avoiding TV and computers at least one hour before bed is optimal to allow your alertness to calm down. E-Exercise Ideally you want to work on the 3 areas of fitness: cardio, strength, and flexibility. All can be done either daily or at least 3 times a week. Home exercises, walking, body weight exercises like squats, pushups, lunges and abdominal exercises and holding stretches for at least 30 seconds each are all great ways to get your body moving. One set of 10-15 repetitions per exercise is a great start. A total body workout […]
How COVID-19 may affect the value of your business
I recently had the opportunity to attend a Webinar hosted by the American Society of Appraisers (ASA) that discussed the impact COVID-19 is having on business valuations. The panelists included ASA’s, ABV’s, CBV’s and CFA’s and one of the most discussed topics was the impact the valuation date can have on business valuations, due to the uncertainty caused by the COVID – 19 crisis. The underlying concept of fair market value (FMV) is that value is determined at a point in time. The valuation process is complex and has a number of variable factors that determine FMV. However, when a valuation is being performed for certain purposes, such as for family law, the valuation date it is not variable and is dictated by the courts. For example, the valuation date for family law purposes is usually the date of separation. Why is this such an important issue when talking about COVID – 19? As mentioned, FMV is determined at a point in time. When we determine value, our valuation standards say, we can only consider information and facts that were known or knowable at the valuation date. So, the question is, at what point in time did COVID -19 become […]
CLEAN BREAK: Supporting your relationship during Covid-19
Our guest today is Katie Cassidy, a Registered Psychotherapist from the Kemptville Stress Relief Centre, and she’s with us to sit down and share what she is seeing as a therapist through Covid-19, and provides some advice to couples that may be experiencing some difficulties while isolating at home. You can find Katie among other practitioners at the Kemptville Stress Relief Centrewww.compassionatesupport.ca | 613-868-9642 | firstname.lastname@example.org Socials: Facebook | InstagramThey are offering video and phone sessions during Covid. Find your support during your divorce here at DivorceNet. You can search our professionals by location or category here. Find us on the socials:Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: Confronting grey divorce with Vickie Townson
Vickie Townson from Life’s New Chapter Coaching is on the Clean Break Podcast today to chat about grey divorce, how to work through a mid-life divorce and how a coach can help you through this difficult time. Find Vickie Townson at www.lifesnewchapter.com You can find more divorce professionals here on www.divorcenet.ca Click our socials:www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.linkedin.com/company/divorcenetwww.facebook.com/divorcenet ** Listener discretion advised, audio is low in some parts of this audio clip
CLEAN BREAK: The importance of self-defence
Rob & Beth Andress from Street Safe Self Defence Training sit down with Daren Givoque and Tina Murray about self-defence, making sure you are ready for anything and protecting yourself if you are ever put into a position of surprise. Stree Safe Self Defence Traininghttps://streetsafeselfdefence.com/https://www.facebook.com/streetsafeselfdefencetraining Find Daren, Tina and other divorce professionals here on www.divorcenet.caMeet us on the socials!FacebookInstagramLinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: Real Estate during COVID-19
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk with Wendy Embleton from EXIT Reality about buying and selling your home during COVID-19, the way the transactions have changed and how to navigate the market during this crisis. Divorce during this time is tough, and selling your home will be a challenge. Know that EXIT Realty will work with you to make your transaction the smoothest possible by providing the best support they can provide while buying or selling your home. It’s a good time to buy and a great time to sell! EXIT Realty https://exitrealty.com/ email@example.com Connect with other professionals here on DivorceNet.ca. Click HERE to find your professional today. Come join us on the socials! Facebook www.facebook.com/DivorceNetInstagram www.instagram.com/DivorceNetLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/DivorceNet
CLEAN BREAK: Helping you budget your money during a crisis
Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Pamela George, Financial Literacy, to talk about thinking about an emergency fund, setting up a budget for the next 90 days, concentrating on the essentials (food, bills, etc). Connect with Pamela and get a FREE financial counselling session http://www.PamelaGeorgeFinancialLiteracy.com/ firstname.lastname@example.org (613) 407-1478. You can also find Pamela on Facebook * * * Connect with your divorce professionals here.Link up on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn
CLEAN BREAK: How to manage our emotions and mental health under a crisis
Clean Break hosts Daren & Tina welcome Jackie Schoemaker Holmes, PhD to the podcast today! Jackie focuses on helping women and mothers to reclaim their time, helping them prioritize and recentre themselves in their lives. Life hasn’t stopped is Covid-19 hit the world, so how do we cope with what is happening among everything else in your life? Jackie touches on ways to help hold on to ourselves, recognize we will go to the worst-case scenario and most importantly, recognize that we are grieving and how to deal with that. She reminds us to allow yourself space and room to breath. What do we need? Comfort. Connection. Treat yourself as you are deserving of this! Jackie dives into how to help yourself heal through, tools to help stay strong and manage your personal events while facing the challenges of this world right now and all the emotions that go with it. Thank you to Jackie Schoemaker Holmes for joining us on the Clean Break Podcast. Find her on Facebook, her website and Instagram!
5 tips for co-parenting through COVID-19
Co-parenting with your ex can be stressful at the best of times, especially if you don’t particularly get along. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused many parents to wonder what the protocol is if they share parenting with their ex or if they have a specified parenting schedule. Should you children really be travelling between two households? Do court ordered obligations need to be upheld? What if you feel like your co-parent isn’t taking the proper precautions when it comes to isolation and social distancing? Here are the top five things to keep in mind while you are trying to navigate how to co-parent with your ex through the COVID-19 pandemic. Meet court-ordered obligations In a March 24, 2020 ruling an Ontario judge determined that in most cases court-ordered parenting arrangements must be upheld. This means that both parents should still have parenting time with their children and they can move between households while taking the proper precautions. This is because the court views access with both parents as paramount to a child’s health and wellbeing. That being said parenting time may be disrupted if one parent has to self-isolate due to travel, person illness or exposure to illness. Also, if […]
How a cohabitation agreement can help protect your assets
Many people who have been divorced these days go on to remarry. While some remain cautious about entering into a new serious relationship, others may have the view that, this time around, they have found the perfect partner and they don’t need to protect themselves from the possibility of the relationship ending. Regardless of how you might feel it is always a good idea to have a cohabitation agreement when entering into a new serious relationship. If you plan on getting married it is also important to redo your will as marriage will make your current will null and void. If you die and you haven’t made a new will reflecting your current wishes your estate will be divided between your new spouse and any children you may have, regardless of what your previous will said. Wills and cohabitation agreements may seem like very separate documents, but they can actually work together to make sure you’re your estate is distributed according to your wishes. This is especially important if you have kids from a previous marriage who you would like to benefit from your estate. It is possible to make a will “in contemplation of marriage” to a new specified […]
How to build your social life and find support after divorce
Getting a divorce can be very isolating and lonely. Not only are you loosing someone who you thought would be your lifelong partner, but your entire social group may change as well. Friends who you made as a couple may choose sides or keep their distance because they are unsure how to be close with you now that you aren’t with your ex. Children may be uprooted which means you may be home alone more than your would like. While all these situations are common for divorced people, it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. As humans we are hard wired to be social and going through something like a divorce can completely shift the paradigm of your social life. Here are some ways you can find support through this difficult time and start to build a new social life for yourself that does not involve your ex. Join a support group This is often a difficult step for people to take because it involves being very vulnerable. However, finding a divorce support group can be a great way to meet people and get support at the same time. Nothing fosters connection like shared experience and that is exactly what support […]
CLEAN BREAK: Change your thoughts, change your world!
Cindy Little joins hosts Daren Givoque & Tina Murray to chat about how important self-care is, especially through separation and divorce. Sleep, getting away from distractions and the benefits of working out to help supercharge your body are just a few topics to help nurture your body. Cindy Little from Health 2 Wealth educates people on healthier alternatives to youthful ageing, weight maintenance, nutritionally dense products, while potentially providing an additional income stream on the side just by sharing one’s results. Find out more about Cindy and others who can help you through a divorce right here on www.divorcenet.ca Health 2 Wealthhttps://www.facebook.com/health2wealthisagenixhttp://health2wealth.ca/
CLEAN BREAK: Programs to help you get prep’d for Divorce Court
Hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Pennsylvania attorney & divorce coach, Anthony Bompiani and to break down some great programs that Anthony offers to individuals going through a divorce, personal experience and his path to becoming a coach and how he can help getting ready for court and more! Anthony has years of experience both professionally and personally to help you get prepared for divorce, offering a program to review the 4 areas to master when you are heading to court. He also touches on his personalized program, Failure to Freedom. Stay tuned to learn more! Are you in the Pennsylvania area? Find Anthony at www.anthonybompiani.com Find your Divorce Team here at divorcenet.ca by heading to our Professionals List to seek out Divorce Professionals in your area! Not sure where to start? Email us at email@example.com and we can help connect you with the right professional. Connect with us online!www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.instagram.com/divorcenetwww.linkedin/company/divorcenet
5 tips for cohabiting during divorce/separation
Living together during the divorce/separation process is far from ideal, but it is something that many couples are doing for many reasons. Maybe you need the money from the sale of the matrimonial home to afford two residences. Maybe you want to wait until after a special event like a birthday or the holidays to tell your children that one of you is moving out. Whatever the reason it is possible to survive. Here are 5 things to keep in mind that will help you get through this trying time, no matter how impossible it may seem. Set ground rules It may seem strange, but you want to look at your ex-spouse as a new roommate. Sit down and set some ground rules about things like where you will be sleeping, what possessions are off limits and who gets the TV when. Another thing to consider is what to do with family meals. Will you be continuing to eat together or, if you have kids, will you alternate days eating with them. Laying out clear living arrangements and boundaries will make sure that that the two of you can successfully cohabitate until one or both of you can get your […]
How to find the right divorce lawyer for you
There are many people that you need to have in your corner while going through divorce. Legal support is something you will want to consider early as a good lawyer will be able to walk you through divorce process and prepare you for what to expect. Choosing lawyer is a very personal decision and finding the right one can depend on a number of factors. Here are some things to keep in mind as you are deciding who is going to represent and support you through your divorce. Decide what type of divorce you want (or need) These days there are many types of divorce processes and lawyers that specialize in each one. Do you want to use mediation, litigation or collaborative or cooperative divorce? Once you figure out what process is most likely going to work for you, then you can find a lawyer that specializes in handling those types of cases. You have to match the lawyer with the process otherwise you may not be happy with the end result. Figure out your budget There is no way around it. Lawyers can be expensive. But not everyone needs a $500/hour elite law firm lawyer. If your case is […]
5 questions to ask yourself before bringing up divorce
If you are going through a particularly rocky phase in your relationship it is not uncommon for the thought of divorce to creep in. No one enjoys feeling at odds with their partner and, depending on the situation, divorce may seem like an easy way out. It’s not. Divorces can be long, drawn out and complicated not to mention emotionally draining. Here are some of the key questions you need to ask yourself before bringing up the “D” word with your spouse. Why do you feel like you want to end the marriage? What is your unhappiness with your marriage based on? Is it due to something your spouse did or didn’t do or is it more that you are looking for something in a life partner that he/she is unable to provide? Taking some time to think about this will make sure you are sure about your decision to bring up divorce with your partner. Have I done my part to try and fix the situation? It takes two to tango and sometimes people start throwing around the idea of divorce without taking responsibility for their role in the unhappy marriage. Take a good look at your own actions […]
CLEAN BREAK: Cohabitation Agreement and the challenges that can/came up
Recently divorced, Tina’s good friend Jen joins us to talk about her cohabitation prenup, the process and difficulties that can come up through her divorce. Tina brings up the hard questions… what went wrong? For more information about the Divorce Professionals in your area, please check your divorce professionals here on the DivorceNet website!! Find us on the social! www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.instagram.com/divorcenet www.linkedin.com/company/divorcenet
CLEAN BREAK: How to set up a ‘Spending Plan’ and help budget your way through a divorce
Darren Ladouceur with us from Sunlife Financial today! We talk about the bones of financial planning around divorce and the holidays. Budgeting is scary, we hate it but it’s a bit different during the divorce. Especially during the holidays! Darren checks in on how to help you set up a ‘spending plan’ and breaks it down. Daren, Tina and Darren touch on automated saves, budgeting while going through a divorce, setting goals and how to save yourself from financial challenges. Don’t forget, eat the elephant one bite at a time. Find Darren and other professionals to help you through divorce right here on the DivorceNet website! Join us on the social! www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.instagram.com/divorcenetwww.linkedin.com/company/divorcenet
5 powerful new years resolutions for divorced people
The new year is a time to look towards the future and many people mark the occasion by making new years resolutions. If you are going through a divorce or separation the holidays were likely a very challenging time and it can be difficult to look towards the future. However, with the right attitude, you can make some valuable new years resolutions that will help you start the new year on the right foot. Here are five examples of new years resolutions that will help you move past your divorce and build a new life for yourself. Practice forgiveness Forgiveness is a key component for moving on after divorce. Resolve to forgive your ex for the pain they caused you both during your marriage and the divorce process. Hanging on to anger and resentment will only cause you more pain, especially if you have to stay in contact with them for the children. It is also important to forgive yourself. You may have done some things throughout your marriage or divorce that you aren’t proud of. Practicing forgiveness is a key component in healing and will help you move forward and be a much better person in the long run. […]
CLEAN BREAK: Handling the stresses of the holidays
Thank you to Shulamit Ber Levtov from Kemptville Stress Relief Centre for joining us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about the HUGE stresses of the holidays, some tools to navigate the complex relationships and how to handle the busy time of the year! Daren Givoque & Tina Murray host the Clean Break Podcast every Wednesday at 3:00pm and touch on the sensitive topics of divorce, tools and professionals to help you through it and local businesses to help you along this difficult path. Check out Shulamit & her team:www.compassionatesupport.cawww.facebook.com/KemptvilleStressReliefwww.instagram.com/StressReliefCentre
Debunking common myths about premarital agreements
It’s true. Premarital or cohabitation agreements are not an easy topic to bring up with your partner, especially if you have recently been engaged and are soon looking forward to declaring your love for one other in front of all your family and friends. Most people don’t like the idea of accounting for the possibility of a separation or divorce at the start of a new relationship or a marriage. That’s understandable. However, separation occurs when the parties choose to separate but also when one of the partners dies. Considering the statistics, there is a strong chance that a separation will occur at some point even prior to the death of one of you. For married couples in Ontario, the law provides that the value of all kinds of property that was acquired by a spouse during the marriage, and still exists at separation, must be divided equally. There are a few exceptions to this rule, which includes gifts or inheritances, but only if they did not contribute to the purchase of or a mortgage against a matrimonial home. The rules regarding the division of property for unmarried spouses after separation is less clear but there can be obligations, […]
Co-parenting after divorce
What’s the point of having a co-operative parenting relationship with your ex? And how can you co-parent successfully after divorce? Did you know that kids whose divorced parents have a cooperative relationship: Feel secureBenefit from the consistency Better understand problem solvingHave a healthy example to follow Are mentally and emotionally healthier than kids whose divorced parents don’t co-operate? It’s true! And it is arguably just as beneficial, if not more so, for kids to have co-operatively parenting divorced parents as it is for them to have parents who stay together although they are unhappy and actively fighting. Here are some tips for successful, co-operative parenting: 1. Successful co-parenting means that your own emotions must take a back seat to the needs of your children. It’s often easier said than done to keep your emotions about your ex to yourself, as you probably know, so get counselling and get it fast if you’re having a hard time. If you can get clear or at least get heard about all the things you’re feeling—and it’s OK if there’s a lot, that’s to be expected—it can be easier to keep your cool when your ex does the same old stupid stuff. Having a time and […]
CLEAN BREAK: Salt Therapy when you need it most
Stress from a divorce can pop up in different forms. Saltastic can provide relief in so many different ways. This salt therapy can help with skin conditions, sinus difficulty, and inflammation as an example. Come visit Karen at Saltastic to have a walkthrough and see how Saltastic can help you today! Saltastic – www.saltastic.ca Join Daren & Tina on the Clean Break Podcast and other Divorce Professionals in your area at www.divorcenet.ca Click the link below to listen to this great podcast! https://anchor.fm/cleanbreak/episodes/The-benefits-of-salt-therapy-through-a-divorce-e9fbb4
CLEAN BREAK: Healing from heartbreak, mired in scandal and illicitly involved with a married man (Author)
CJ Butler joins us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about her new book, “The Japson Club”. Join us to learn a bit more about this woman healing from a terrible relationship escaping to Rosemount Equestrian Club and finding herself wrapped up in much more than she anticipated! Pick up The Japson Club on Amazon at https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=The+Japson+Club&i=digital-text&ref=nb_sb_noss_2 Healing from heartbreak, mired in scandal and illicitly involved with a married man by Clean BreakCJ Butler joins us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about her new book, “The Japson Club”. Join us to learn a bit more about this woman healing from a terrible relationship escaping to Rosemount Equestrian Club and finding herself wrapped up in much more than she anticipated!
CLEAN BREAK: Helping you move with J9 Moves You
Janine Falk and Catherine Humphreys from J9 Moves You joins Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about helping people move from your home to another place. You may be busy, have kids, not time and that’s where J9 comes in to help. J9 Moves You helps with getting your house set up for sale, helps with fixing it up, setting it up for showings and helps work with moving you. They can assist in packing, moving and even unpacking with a dedicated team to help you through the whole process. Get ready to sell, move you and set you up all with J9 Moves You! by Clean BreakJanine Falk and Catherine Humphreys from J9 Moves You joins Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about helping people move from your home to another place. You may be busy, have kids, not time and that’s where J9 comes in to help.
CLEAN BREAK: The benefits of hiring a stager to sell your home
Daniela Pluviati Staging and Design sits down with Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about the benefits of hiring a stager, especially during a difficult time. Daniela even dips into some tips on how to stage your home the right way so you can find the right buyer. Find Daniela Pluviati Staging and Design at https://danielapluviati.com/ The benefits of hiring a home stager while you sell your home so you don’t stress during that time! by Clean BreakDaniela Pluviati Staging and Design sits down with Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about the benefits of hiring a stager, especially during a difficult time. Daniela even dips into some tips on how to stage your home the right way so you can find the right buyer.
CLEAN BREAK: Eating on the go and staying healthy during a divorce
Healthy, planned snacks for on the go. Digestion and how to feed your body through a stressful time including foods to help you through anxiety. Listen in to hear more from Carol Pillar of Wholesum Approach chatting with Daren Givoque & Tina Murray about keeping healthy during divorce! Planning & eating on the go, and staying healthy during divorce. by Clean BreakHealthy, planned snacks for on the go. Digestion and how to feed your body through a stressful time including foods to help you through anxiety. Listen in to hear more from Carol Pillar of Wholesum Approach chatting with Daren Givoque & Tina Murray about keeping healthy during divorce!
CLEAN BREAK: Taking a lower income job, ‘I’ll make you sell the house’, and ‘I want a Mediator and you want a lawyer!’
Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Jim Jeffcott and open up with some great questions! What happens with one spouse takes a job of a lower salary? What happens when one spouse syas ‘I’m going to make you sell the house’? Can you keep your spouse out of the house during the divorce? Can you have one spouse want to use a mediator and the other want to use a lawyer? Episode 33 – Taking a lower income job, I’ll making you sell the house, and I want a Mediator and you want a lawyer! by Clean BreakDaren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Jim Jeffcott and open up with some great questions! What happens with one spouse takes a job of a lower salary? What happens when one spouse syas ‘I’m going to make you sell the house’? Can you keep your spouse out of the house during the divorce? Episode 33: https://anchor.fm/dashboard/episode/e5epq7
Looking after your fitness post-divorce
Going through separation and divorce can wreak havoc on your health. Sleep, eating processes and stress all play a factor in weight gain or loss. As a result, emotional, mental and physical ailments may crop up. Today I want to address a few questions that can help you transport yourself safely, and healthily through this transition in life. When it comes to your daily nutrition would you agree it can be challenging to get in all the nutrients you need? Would say you eat at least 3 meals a day? Do you eat a minimum of 2-3 snacks? How many of you have an idea of how many calories to consume daily based on your level of activity and occupation? If you have a weight goal it may be helpful to know how much you are consuming on a daily basis in term of calories, carbs, fats and proteins. One of the easiest tools that I have found is using the My Fitness Pal app or fitday.com. If you log your food there, it will show you clearly how much fat, protein, carbs and calories you eat daily. Generally it is not a good idea to go below 1200 calories […]
CLEAN BREAK: Who gets the divorce bill?
In this week’s episode of Clean Break, Daren GIvoque and Tina Murray chat with Jim Jeffcott about the cost associated with divorce, collaborative law and if the other spouse can be placed with the ‘divorce bill’. Find more information about Jim Jeffcott and other DivorceNet Divorce Professionals at www.divorcenet.ca, providing expert advise in the Ottawa and greater Ottawa areas. Drop in our social mediawww.facebook.com/divorcenet | www.instagram.com/divorcenet Episode 32 – Jim Jeffcott and the costs associated with divorce
How to help your relationship recover after an affair: for the unfaithful spouse
The most important aspect of any intimate relationship is trust. When you’ve agreed to be exclusive, intimate partners, there are assumptions that govern that relationship. Two of the most common assumptions are that you won’t have sex with other people, and you won’t be emotionally intimate–giving and receiving emotional support and comfort—with other people the same way you are with your exclusive partner. Also, when you cheat on your partner, you lie by omission as well as commission. In other words, you may lie, but you may also leave things unsaid. Trust is what’s lost and trust is what has to be rebuilt. 1) Secrecy has undermined the relationship, so tell the truth. The relationship will be better off in the long run when you reveal the full extent of the situation up front. The slow revealing of one aspect after another, one thing at a time, amounts to repeated hits on an already shaky or non-existent foundation of trust. 2) Be willing to take the heat. If you want to repair the relationship, you will need to be understanding and accepting of your partner’s anger, and of their fears. When they are angry, validate that. You can say things […]
Create your Vision Board
Divorce is a huge life transition. It can be difficult to envision what your life will be like without your ex once the divorce is finalized. What are your goals, hopes and dreams for the future? How can you make them happen? A vision board is a great way to transform your dreams into reality. When you constantly see your aspirations in front of you, it’s a reminder of what you will achieve with all your hard work. Even if arts and crafts aren’t your jam, there are some big steps you can take to visualize your dreams without breaking out the scissors and glue. Choose a medium, then follow these tips for your vision board and bring your dreams to life! What is a vision board? A vision board is a collection of pictures, images and affirmations that depict your dreams and desires. It is designed to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation to move towards your goals. A good vision board could show your: dream job, dream vacation, family goals, career goals, personal aspirations or health and exercise goals. How does it work? Actively seeing these dreams is a regular reminder of what you are working […]
Who pays for debt incurred post-separation?
What happens if your ex goes into debt after your separate? The answer may seem simple. The person who incurred the debt should pay for it. However, in certain jurisdictions it is not so straight forward. In an article in Financial Post Toronto Lawyer Adam N. Black explains how a couple in Alberta got into a lengthy court battle after the husband racked up $115,000 worth of debt during their 6-year separation before the divorce was finalized. In most provinces assets and liabilities are divided as of the separation date. However, under Alberta’s Matrimonial Property Act they are divided as of the date of the trial. The husband relied on Alberta’s laws to support his argument that his ex should pay half of the $115,000 worth of line of credit and credit card debt he had racked up over their lengthy separation. At trial the judged agreed with him and ordered the wife to pay her ex over $400,000, an amount that included half of his debt incurred post separation. Understandably the wife appealed the decision. In the appeal the wife argued that because her ex-husband could not provide any reason for the debt (as he could have easily met […]
Helping kids deal with stress after divorce – video
Shulamit Ber Levtov gives some helpful advice about how to help kids deal with their emotions and stress after Divorce.
How do I find myself again after divorce?
Divorce is disruptive to every part of life. It is emotionall, physically and financially draining and it is not uncommon for a person to come out the other side of the process unsure of how to move forward. It can be a challenge to find your footing again after divorce. But it is possible. Abandon the “shoulds” The first step is to release all judgement about how you should or shouldn’t feel. Maybe you feel like you should feel relieved that it is all over. You might also think you should feel excited for the future now that the significant hurdle of divorce is in the past. The reality is there isn’t one way to feel about the prospect of moving on from your divorce. You might feel excited and happy, but you might also feel anxious and scared at the prospect of beginning what is inevitably a new phase of your life. All emotions are valid in this deeply personal process. Meet yourself where you are at and tell yourself it is OK. There are no timelines to the process of healing and “shoulding” on yourself is not going to make it any easier. Allow yourself time to reflect […]
CLEAN BREAK: Mortgages and Divorce with Chad Robinson
Clean Beak hosts Tina Murray and Deron Givoque sit down with mortgage and real estate broker Chad Robinson to answer all the burning questions when it comes to mortgages and divorce!
Can I move with my children after divorce?
Moving is a very common part of divorce. Often a matrimonial home must be sold as part of the settlement and both parties need to decide on another place to live. This can be complicated especially if kids are involved. What if one party wants to move to a completely different city? Is that possible with children in the picture? The short answer is yes. But it can be complicated. If you are the sole guardian of the children, have sole custody or if there is a written agreement or court order permitting you to move without the other parent’s consent it is definitely possible. However, if you have joint custody of the children there is a lot more that needs to be considered. Relocation disputes Relocation disputes can be extremely difficult and costly and unsurprisingly the issue has generated a lot of case law across Canada. If at all possible it is best to avoid them. It is always best to talk about your relocation plans with your ex before finalizing them. Providing plenty of notice might stop your ex from filing an urgent court application to keep you from moving. Communication is key because more often than not […]
How is spousal support calculated?
Spousal support is one of the most contentious and complicated aspects of divorce. There are many factors that play into how much support one spouse owes the other once the divorce has been settled. In court proceedings it is often up to a judge to decide the amount and parameters for spousal support. However here are a few factors that may come into play when figuring out how much spousal support is due. Spousal support is not guaranteed Just because two people were married doesn’t mean that a spouse is entitled to spousal support. There are online calculators that are available to calculate potential spousal support, however they don’t take into consideration the important factor of entitlement. This means that: If a spouse has not suffered economic disadvantage as a result of the marriage or childcare responsibilities,has not become accustomed to a standard of living that is impossible to maintain on his/her income alone, or has not provided services to the other spouse or children for which they have not received compensation or other benefits, the spouse may not be entitled to spousal support. How much and how long? If the spouse IS entitled to spousal support the questions of […]
Accounting at a whole new level with Rick Evans – Part II
In part 2 of Daren Givoque and Tina Murray’s conversation with accountant Rick Evans he talks valuations, non-arms-length transactions and income tax. Not sure what these things have to do with each other? Listen in and find out!
What to do with your joint accounts
Working out financials can be tricky when going through the divorce process. If you have been with your spouse for a while it is likely that you have shared debts, expenses and even shared bank accounts. Many couples choose to merge finances when getting married which can make things difficult when trying to navigate financials during separation. Here are a few options on how to deal with joint debts and bank accounts throughout the divorce process. Close any joint bank accounts This is an important step especially if you don’t know how the divorce process is going to go emotionally. If you don’t close joint accounts, you will both have access to the money in the account and be legally responsible for repaying any debts. This is the case even if your separation agreement says only one person is responsible for debts or can access the funds in the account. This is key if one of your goals is to have complete financial separation from your ex. Keep a joint account open Depending on your situation you and your former partner may wish to keep a joint account open for a period of time. For example, if your mortgage payments […]
CLEAN BREAK: Accounting at a whole new level with Rick Evans
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Chartered Professional Accountant Rick Evans to talk about business valuation and how it relates to divorce. You won’t want to miss this deep dive into accounting as Rick takes some of the “what ifs” about divorce and money.
The rise of millennial prenups
It may be surprising but professionals in Canada are saying that more and more millennials are signing prenups (called marriage contracts or cohabitation agreements in by professionals in Canada) before getting married or cohabiting. According to Global News a recent U.S. study found that an increasing number of young adults are requesting prenups to cover things like protection of property, spousal support and division of assets. Toronto-based family lawyer Rick Peticca told Global that the same trend is happening in Canada. Although it may sound counterintuitive for the notoriously cash-strapped generation to be creating contractual agreements to protect their assets the Global News article reported some significant reasons why prenups are on the rise for millennials. Firstly, millennials are typically staying in school and working for longer than people did 30-40 years ago. This means they have accumulated more assets when they finally decide to settle down. Some millennials may also be inheriting inter-generational wealth which they may wish to protect. In 2018 Global news reported a rise in “living inheritances” where Canadians are passing wealth on to their children or grandchildren before they die to help them buy homes, pay off debt, or enjoy for financial freedom. People are […]
Real Estate and Divorce with Wendy Embleton
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk to Exit Realty’s Wendy Embleton about how to navigate the real estate world after Divorce. She talks getting your house ready to sell, renting vs. buying and much more!
Why Knowing the Purpose of the Valuation Engagement is Important
Before starting down the path of valuing your business, it is important for the client and business valuator to have a good understanding of why the business is being valued. There are many reason why you may need to determine the value of your business. Some of the more common examples of why you may need your business valued are: marital dissolution, litigation and ownership disputes, buy/sell agreements, business planning and estate, gift and tax planning purposes. There are potentially different users of a valuation report, including: company shareholders, potential purchasers, the Courts and the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) A valuation report prepared for one purpose is not necessarily appropriate for another purpose. The purpose for which the valuation report was prepared can have a significant impact on the determined value and whether or not it will be accepted by the users of the report. Understanding the purpose of the valuation report will, amongst other things, help you determine: The Valuation Date: The underlying concept of value is that value is determined as at a point in time. The purpose of the valuation will have an impact on the valuation date. The valuation date for family law purposes will usually […]
5 tips for getting rid of debt
Getting divorced is not only extremely emotionally draining but it can also be a huge financial stress. Depending on your situation divorce proceedings can be very expensive, not to mention that fact that you no longer have another person to help pay daily living costs. If you have racked up a lot of debt while going through divorce you are not alone. Money is a huge worry for many people and it can add even more stress to an already difficult situation. The weight of debt can make your divorce feel like it is lingering and infiltrating into the rest of your life, making it difficult to move on. If this sounds like your situation here are a few tips on hour to conquer your debt and cut the last few strings tying you to your divorce. Ditch the credit cards The temptation of credit cards to “buy now and pay later” is tricky. The interest rate on credit cards is high so if you don’t pay them off within the designated period you will be paying a lot to borrow the money. When trying to eliminate debt it just makes sense to get rid of anything that might allow […]
What to expect when you’re divorcing
Are you separating or divorcing and confused by what you’re feeling? Do you wonder what’s the matter with you? There’s actually nothing wrong with you. What you’re feeling are the natural reactions to stressful events. You might feel pissed off, confused, worn out, afraid, sad, depressed, hopeless, guilty, frustrated… the list might be endless. These are all understandable and reasonable things to be feeling in the face of change, loss and the unknown. And if you’re feeling some emotion I didn’t mention—like maybe relief or even happiness—that’s OK too. Whatever you’re feeling might suck, you might hate it, but it’s OK. Emotions are part of the human experience. Here are three ways to cope with your emotions 1) Turn toward your emotions, instead of telling yourself you shouldn’t be feeling this way. This could be as simple as placing a gentle hand on your chest and saying to yourself, “It makes sense what I’m feeling, given what I’m going through right now.” 2) Make space for your emotions. This can mean journalling, talking to a friend, working with a therapist or anything else that works for you as an intentional way to express what you’re feeling. What’s important is to take time to do this regularly. 3) […]
Tax implications of divorce
Every asset you have has a different tax implication. It is very important to consider this during the equalization process when going through divorce. While things like the couple’s primary residence and TFSA are not taxable there are many other types of property that will be subject to either capital gains tax or income tax upon liquidation. Matrimonial homes While your primary residence is not taxable other matrimonial homes (like cottages) are subject to tax. If the cottage is used as leverage in the equalization process, it is important to consider how much capital gains tax you will pay if you decide to sell. For example, if you bought the cottage for $100,000 and sold it for $200,000 you will be taxed on half the growth. This means that you will pay income tax based on your tax bracket on $50,000. This can make a huge difference in the amount of tax you are paying because a sudden increase of $50,000 will likely bump you into a higher tax bracket, causing your income to be taxed more heavily if/when you sell the cottage. Pensions When planning for retirement it is important to plan for what your average tax bracket will […]
CLEAN BREAK: Spousal support and more with Jamie Mookerjea
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk with lawyer Jamie Mookerjea about spousal support and everything you need to know while going through separation and divorce.
What happens to your child’s RESP after divorce?
During a separation or divorce, couples may fight over the house and kids. But for some families, the RESP might be a considerable asset that can also cause a tug-of-war. Here’s what you need to know about your child’s education savings in the event of a break-up. A separation or divorce can be an acrimonious time, rife with fights over the house, the money, and even the dishes. An RESP, or Registered Education Savings Plan, that families set up years ago for the children can become part of the battle — especially if it is considered one of the family’s big assets. If you have children, you may have opened an RESP to save for their education. It’s an investment that allows contributors to save money for a child’s (the beneficiary’s) post-secondary education. Contributions to an RESP can be supplemented by grants and incentives from the federal and certain provincial governments. It can be a smart way to invest and grow money for the purposes of saving for education. RESPs can be a really good way to save for a child’s education. The money can grow on a tax-deferred basis and the federal government can add grants of up to […]
CLEAN BREAK: Mediation with Darrin Clayton
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk with family lawyer Darrin Clayton about mediation and working with couples through divorce.
Hiding assets during divorce
When a marriage breaks down one of the first things to go is trust. When there is mistrust in a marriage it is not uncommon for the two people to hide things like assets from each other. This can be serious during a divorce because the Family Law Act dictates that each spouse must disclose all their assets so there can be a fair and equitable settlement. Why would someone hide assets? A person might hide assets for multiple reasons. Maybe they don’t trust the law to divide the assets fairly and they believe they will have to pay more than is fair. They might also have assets that have been amassed from illegal activities. A person might also think that if it looks like they have less money they will be able to avoid having to pay spousal or child support. Where would they hide assets? A person who wants to hide money from their spouse and the law might do so in several ways. Unfortunately, it can be as simple as enlisting a friend to open a bank account that their spouse doesn’t know about. According to legalline.ca other ways include: Lending money to family or friendsGenerating fake […]
How to keep divorce costs low in Ontario
Making the decision to get a divorce is not easy and it is no secret that they can be expensive. How expensive depends on a variety of factors, some of which you have control over, some of which you don’t. Here are five tips for keeping divorce costs low in Ontario. Settle out of court Uncontested divorces are always cheaper than contested divorces. An uncontested divorce is when a couple is able to settle on a separation agreement without the need for litigation. It is still a good idea to hire a lawyer but staying out of court will save you a considerable amount of time and money. According to Canadian Lawyer Magazine’s 2015 survey, the average divorce lawyer’s fees in Ontario for an uncontested divorce were $1,217. The cost of court fees, where a judge certifies the separation agreement and grants the divorce, is a total of $447. While this number is still in the thousands it pales in comparison to the fees you will be paying if your divorce ends up in court. Canadian Lawyer Magazine estimated in 2015 that the average contested divorce will cost roughly $8,747, over four times the cost of a divorce that has […]
The three relationship red flags
Are you feeling bitter about your previous relationship? Would you like to date again but want to know what to avoid? Here are three relationship red flags and the one issue that prevents you from seeing them. They say too much too soon, and think you’re “the one” on the first date or maybe even before you’ve met. I’m a believer in love at first sight, and even thinking or “knowing” “they’re the one” right away. At the same time, I recommend taking time to let things unfold. Sometimes excitement, fantasies and hormones can lead us astray. Relationships are like plants. Healthy relationships grow slowly and steadily. When a person reveals too much at first, that’s a sign they don’t really know what’s healthy and unhealthy in a relationship. As the relationship matures, the other person stops “being romantic.” As I said, relationships are like plants. If you don’t care for them, they’ll die. They are nurtured accidentally or effortlessly in the beginning because being together is very compelling. But as time goes on, the connection still needs to be nourished. If you notice your dating partner less and less willing to nurture the relationship, this is a red flag. […]
Collaborative Process, for same sex couples too
In July 2005 the Supreme Court of Canada declared same sex marriage legal in all provinces across Canada. The enactment of the Civil Marriage Act made Canada the fourth country in the world and the first outside of Europe to recognize gay marriage as legal. However, there are always a certain percentage of marriages that will end in separation or divorce. An article in the Washington Post in 2014 reported that the divorce rate for same-sex couples is about the same as heterosexual couples, at about 38 per cent in Canada. For Canadian same-sex couples who are married the process for obtaining a divorce is straightforward. Gay spouses go through the same process as heterosexual couples do when it comes to the termination of the marital regime. Marriage is marriage and it is treated the same. The so called “collateral” issues of parenting, child and spousal support and division of property and debts is more complicated. In addition, many couples never marry and instead live together as unmarried spouses. Couples who may have lived together for a long time before marriage was on the table may also find that matters are more complicated. For example, the length of their marriage […]
The dangers of social media and divorce
In this digital age most people have some form of social media. Sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are intertwined into our existence and many people use them to share many aspects of their lives. While social media can be great for keeping up with friends and family it opens a whole can of worms for people facing a separation or divorce. Depending on how long you were with your ex you may have years of photos and memories archived online that you would now rather forget. What you post can also affect divorce proceedings in a way that was not possible in days before social media. Here are a few tips on how to handle social media when going through a separation or divorce. Enlist help Get a friend to come over and help you curate your social media profiles. Delete friends you no longer want to keep in touch with and un-tag yourself from photos with your ex. Depending on how riddled your social media is with posts about your relationship you may want to de-activate the account altogether and start fresh. This can be a great way to ensure that memories don’t pop up on your […]
Grieving the loss of a relationship
Are you going through a breakup? Are you confused by your feelings? Or wondering when you’ll stop feeling this way? Here are three secrets about breakups, and two key ways to help you feel better. Secret number one: Breaking up sucks. It just plain sucks. And how you’re feeling is normal. A relationship break-up is a kind of death. It’s the death of the relationship but also the death of your vision for the future, of how you imagined life would be. These can be profound losses, and of course there may be many more associated losses I haven’t mentioned, so no wonder it’s hitting you hard. You might feel sadness, loss, anger, relief, isolation, guilt, shame, and all kinds of other emotions. Ups and downs are normal. Not wanting to feel what you’re feeling is normal. Snapping or crying at the drop of a hat is normal. All this is normal. You’re not going crazy. Secret number two: Grief isn’t linear. If you’ve googled anything about grieving, you may have seen something about the 7 stages of grief. While you may experience some of those things, that model was developed for people diagnosed with terminal illness. So, if it […]
What to do with wedding memorabilia after divorce
Weddings are often a joyous occasion and people keep many keepsakes from their big day. From the wedding dress, place cards, photo album, a guest book, cards, marriage license and of course wedding rings, these are all items that are kept to remind a couple of the day they said I do. So what happens to these mementos if your marriage ends in divorce? It may be extremely difficult for you to figure out what to do with these items that once sparked joy and may now trigger anger, pain and sadness. Deciding what to do with wedding memorabilia is a very person decision and it will largely depend on how the characterization of the marriage and divorce. Throwing children into the mix can also have an impact on how you see and deal with these items. Here are a few of the most common wedding mementos and some options for what to do with them. Wedding dress Sell it. Make some money off it and use the money for some self care like a spa day or vacation with your kids. Use the dress to help fund some new happy memories. Donate it. There are lots of places that […]
Three ways to take care of yourself when going through divorce
Life is busy and keeping on top of everything can be difficult at the best of times. Carving out time for self-care is important for everyone but it is even more essential when going through a major life change like separation or divorce. Here are three ways you can take care of yourself to make sure you don’t end up in mental and physical burn out. Give yourself time Many people going through separation or divorce want to get it over with. It can be a painful process and it may seem very attractive to make quick decisions to just to get though the process as quickly as possible. On the other hand, some people feel paralyzed with anxiety and fear when it comes to making any decision regarding their separation because they feel immense pressure to make the best decision for themselves and their children. The key here is to give yourself time. Allow yourself the time to process your emotions and get in touch with the right professionals who will help guide you through the process. Rushing through it or feeling bad because you can’t seem to make any decisions will not help you in the long run. […]
What to do with the matrimonial home
For many couples who are separating figuring out what to do with the matrimonial home is one of the biggest concerns. When deciding what to do with any real estate it is important to consult both a mortgage advisor and a lawyer. That said, here are the three options for dealing with the family home. Sell it Selling the matrimonial home is one of the more popular options when it comes to separation or divorce. When you put your house up for sale make sure you: Hire a Realtor to provide you with the estimated market value of your propertyCalculate your respective net proceeds from the sale and be sure to keep in mind that the proceeds may not be divided in half. The division will depend on your divorce settlement. When selling be sure to maximize the resale value of your home. The equity from the sale typically needs to fund the down payment for two new purchases so every dollar counts! One party buys the other out This option tends to be the most stable for families at it allows children to remain in the home where they are most comfortable. However, it requires a lot of financial […]
8 things to consider before entering therapy
When going through a separation or divorce it is a good idea to talk to a professional that can help you through the many difficult emotions that come with a failed relationship. No matter what your needs are there is probably a trained professional out there that can help you work through the painful feelings and move on with your life. That being said, there are a few things you should know about therapy before you commit to the process. Here are the top 8 things you should consider before you start therapy. Choose the right therapist for you Not every therapist can be everything to everyone. Credentials are important so look for someone whose practice is overseen by a regulatory body like the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, the College of Psychologists of Ontario, or the Ontario College of Social Workers. Finding the right fit is just as important as the credentials they hold. You want to make sure that the therapist you are seeing not only has the right training, expertise and experience, but also has a personality and style that meshes with yours. It is ok to comparison shop and see a few different therapists before […]
Moving forward after separation or divorce
Daren Givoque and guest host Megan Cummings talk with Life Coach Vickie Townson about making life changes and moving forward after separation or divorce.
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