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Recently divorced, Tina’s good friend Jen joins us to talk about her cohabitation prenup, the process and difficulties that can come up through her divorce. Tina brings up the hard questions… what went wrong? For more information about the Divorce Professionals in your area, please check your divorce professionals here on the DivorceNet website!! Find us on the social! www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.instagram.com/divorcenet www.linkedin.com/company/divorcenet
Darren Ladouceur with us from Sunlife Financial today! We talk about the bones of financial planning around divorce and the holidays. Budgeting is scary, we hate it but it’s a bit different during the divorce. Especially during the holidays! Darren checks in on how to help you set up a ‘spending plan’ and breaks it down. Daren, Tina and Darren touch on automated saves, budgeting while going through a divorce, setting goals and how to save yourself from financial challenges. Don’t forget, eat the elephant one bite at a time. Find Darren and other professionals to help you through divorce right here on the DivorceNet website! Join us on the social! www.facebook.com/divorcenetwww.instagram.com/divorcenetwww.linkedin.com/company/divorcenet
The new year is a time to look towards the future and many people mark the occasion by making new years resolutions. If you are going through a divorce or separation the holidays were likely a very challenging time and it can be difficult to look towards the future. However, with the right attitude, you can make some valuable new years resolutions that will help you start the new year on the right foot. Here are five examples of new years resolutions that will help you move past your divorce and build a new life for yourself. Practice forgiveness Forgiveness is a key component for moving on after divorce. Resolve to forgive your ex for the pain they caused you both during your marriage and the divorce process. Hanging on to anger and resentment will only cause you more pain, especially if you have to stay in contact with them for the children. It is also important to forgive yourself. You may have done some things throughout your marriage or divorce that you aren’t proud of. Practicing forgiveness is a key component in healing and will help you move forward and be a much better person in the long run. […]
Thank you to Shulamit Ber Levtov from Kemptville Stress Relief Centre for joining us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about the HUGE stresses of the holidays, some tools to navigate the complex relationships and how to handle the busy time of the year! Daren Givoque & Tina Murray host the Clean Break Podcast every Wednesday at 3:00pm and touch on the sensitive topics of divorce, tools and professionals to help you through it and local businesses to help you along this difficult path. Check out Shulamit & her team:www.compassionatesupport.cawww.facebook.com/KemptvilleStressReliefwww.instagram.com/StressReliefCentre
It’s true. Premarital or cohabitation agreements are not an easy topic to bring up with your partner, especially if you have recently been engaged and are soon looking forward to declaring your love for one other in front of all your family and friends. Most people don’t like the idea of accounting for the possibility of a separation or divorce at the start of a new relationship or a marriage. That’s understandable. However, separation occurs when the parties choose to separate but also when one of the partners dies. Considering the statistics, there is a strong chance that a separation will occur at some point even prior to the death of one of you. For married couples in Ontario, the law provides that the value of all kinds of property that was acquired by a spouse during the marriage, and still exists at separation, must be divided equally. There are a few exceptions to this rule, which includes gifts or inheritances, but only if they did not contribute to the purchase of or a mortgage against a matrimonial home. The rules regarding the division of property for unmarried spouses after separation is less clear but there can be obligations, […]
What’s the point of having a co-operative parenting relationship with your ex? And how can you co-parent successfully after divorce? Did you know that kids whose divorced parents have a cooperative relationship: Feel secureBenefit from the consistency Better understand problem solvingHave a healthy example to follow Are mentally and emotionally healthier than kids whose divorced parents don’t co-operate? It’s true! And it is arguably just as beneficial, if not more so, for kids to have co-operatively parenting divorced parents as it is for them to have parents who stay together although they are unhappy and actively fighting. Here are some tips for successful, co-operative parenting: 1. Successful co-parenting means that your own emotions must take a back seat to the needs of your children. It’s often easier said than done to keep your emotions about your ex to yourself, as you probably know, so get counselling and get it fast if you’re having a hard time. If you can get clear or at least get heard about all the things you’re feeling—and it’s OK if there’s a lot, that’s to be expected—it can be easier to keep your cool when your ex does the same old stupid stuff. Having a time and […]
Stress from a divorce can pop up in different forms. Saltastic can provide relief in so many different ways. This salt therapy can help with skin conditions, sinus difficulty, and inflammation as an example. Come visit Karen at Saltastic to have a walkthrough and see how Saltastic can help you today! Saltastic – www.saltastic.ca Join Daren & Tina on the Clean Break Podcast and other Divorce Professionals in your area at www.divorcenet.ca Click the link below to listen to this great podcast! https://anchor.fm/cleanbreak/episodes/The-benefits-of-salt-therapy-through-a-divorce-e9fbb4
CJ Butler joins us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about her new book, “The Japson Club”. Join us to learn a bit more about this woman healing from a terrible relationship escaping to Rosemount Equestrian Club and finding herself wrapped up in much more than she anticipated! Pick up The Japson Club on Amazon at https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=The+Japson+Club&i=digital-text&ref=nb_sb_noss_2 Healing from heartbreak, mired in scandal and illicitly involved with a married man by Clean BreakCJ Butler joins us on the Clean Break Podcast to chat about her new book, “The Japson Club”. Join us to learn a bit more about this woman healing from a terrible relationship escaping to Rosemount Equestrian Club and finding herself wrapped up in much more than she anticipated!
Janine Falk and Catherine Humphreys from J9 Moves You joins Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about helping people move from your home to another place. You may be busy, have kids, not time and that’s where J9 comes in to help. J9 Moves You helps with getting your house set up for sale, helps with fixing it up, setting it up for showings and helps work with moving you. They can assist in packing, moving and even unpacking with a dedicated team to help you through the whole process. Get ready to sell, move you and set you up all with J9 Moves You! by Clean BreakJanine Falk and Catherine Humphreys from J9 Moves You joins Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about helping people move from your home to another place. You may be busy, have kids, not time and that’s where J9 comes in to help.
Daniela Pluviati Staging and Design sits down with Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about the benefits of hiring a stager, especially during a difficult time. Daniela even dips into some tips on how to stage your home the right way so you can find the right buyer. Find Daniela Pluviati Staging and Design at https://danielapluviati.com/ The benefits of hiring a home stager while you sell your home so you don’t stress during that time! by Clean BreakDaniela Pluviati Staging and Design sits down with Daren Givoque and Tina Murray to talk about the benefits of hiring a stager, especially during a difficult time. Daniela even dips into some tips on how to stage your home the right way so you can find the right buyer.
Healthy, planned snacks for on the go. Digestion and how to feed your body through a stressful time including foods to help you through anxiety. Listen in to hear more from Carol Pillar of Wholesum Approach chatting with Daren Givoque & Tina Murray about keeping healthy during divorce! Planning & eating on the go, and staying healthy during divorce. by Clean BreakHealthy, planned snacks for on the go. Digestion and how to feed your body through a stressful time including foods to help you through anxiety. Listen in to hear more from Carol Pillar of Wholesum Approach chatting with Daren Givoque & Tina Murray about keeping healthy during divorce!
Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Jim Jeffcott and open up with some great questions! What happens with one spouse takes a job of a lower salary? What happens when one spouse syas ‘I’m going to make you sell the house’? Can you keep your spouse out of the house during the divorce? Can you have one spouse want to use a mediator and the other want to use a lawyer? Episode 33 – Taking a lower income job, I’ll making you sell the house, and I want a Mediator and you want a lawyer! by Clean BreakDaren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Jim Jeffcott and open up with some great questions! What happens with one spouse takes a job of a lower salary? What happens when one spouse syas ‘I’m going to make you sell the house’? Can you keep your spouse out of the house during the divorce? Episode 33: https://anchor.fm/dashboard/episode/e5epq7
Going through separation and divorce can wreak havoc on your health. Sleep, eating processes and stress all play a factor in weight gain or loss. As a result, emotional, mental and physical ailments may crop up. Today I want to address a few questions that can help you transport yourself safely, and healthily through this transition in life. When it comes to your daily nutrition would you agree it can be challenging to get in all the nutrients you need? Would say you eat at least 3 meals a day? Do you eat a minimum of 2-3 snacks? How many of you have an idea of how many calories to consume daily based on your level of activity and occupation? If you have a weight goal it may be helpful to know how much you are consuming on a daily basis in term of calories, carbs, fats and proteins. One of the easiest tools that I have found is using the My Fitness Pal app or fitday.com. If you log your food there, it will show you clearly how much fat, protein, carbs and calories you eat daily. Generally it is not a good idea to go below 1200 calories […]
In this week’s episode of Clean Break, Daren GIvoque and Tina Murray chat with Jim Jeffcott about the cost associated with divorce, collaborative law and if the other spouse can be placed with the ‘divorce bill’. Find more information about Jim Jeffcott and other DivorceNet Divorce Professionals at www.divorcenet.ca, providing expert advise in the Ottawa and greater Ottawa areas. Drop in our social mediawww.facebook.com/divorcenet | www.instagram.com/divorcenet Episode 32 – Jim Jeffcott and the costs associated with divorce
The most important aspect of any intimate relationship is trust. When you’ve agreed to be exclusive, intimate partners, there are assumptions that govern that relationship. Two of the most common assumptions are that you won’t have sex with other people, and you won’t be emotionally intimate–giving and receiving emotional support and comfort—with other people the same way you are with your exclusive partner. Also, when you cheat on your partner, you lie by omission as well as commission. In other words, you may lie, but you may also leave things unsaid. Trust is what’s lost and trust is what has to be rebuilt. 1) Secrecy has undermined the relationship, so tell the truth. The relationship will be better off in the long run when you reveal the full extent of the situation up front. The slow revealing of one aspect after another, one thing at a time, amounts to repeated hits on an already shaky or non-existent foundation of trust. 2) Be willing to take the heat. If you want to repair the relationship, you will need to be understanding and accepting of your partner’s anger, and of their fears. When they are angry, validate that. You can say things […]
Divorce is a huge life transition. It can be difficult to envision what your life will be like without your ex once the divorce is finalized. What are your goals, hopes and dreams for the future? How can you make them happen? A vision board is a great way to transform your dreams into reality. When you constantly see your aspirations in front of you, it’s a reminder of what you will achieve with all your hard work. Even if arts and crafts aren’t your jam, there are some big steps you can take to visualize your dreams without breaking out the scissors and glue. Choose a medium, then follow these tips for your vision board and bring your dreams to life! What is a vision board? A vision board is a collection of pictures, images and affirmations that depict your dreams and desires. It is designed to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation to move towards your goals. A good vision board could show your: dream job, dream vacation, family goals, career goals, personal aspirations or health and exercise goals. How does it work? Actively seeing these dreams is a regular reminder of what you are working […]
What happens if your ex goes into debt after your separate? The answer may seem simple. The person who incurred the debt should pay for it. However, in certain jurisdictions it is not so straight forward. In an article in Financial Post Toronto Lawyer Adam N. Black explains how a couple in Alberta got into a lengthy court battle after the husband racked up $115,000 worth of debt during their 6-year separation before the divorce was finalized. In most provinces assets and liabilities are divided as of the separation date. However, under Alberta’s Matrimonial Property Act they are divided as of the date of the trial. The husband relied on Alberta’s laws to support his argument that his ex should pay half of the $115,000 worth of line of credit and credit card debt he had racked up over their lengthy separation. At trial the judged agreed with him and ordered the wife to pay her ex over $400,000, an amount that included half of his debt incurred post separation. Understandably the wife appealed the decision. In the appeal the wife argued that because her ex-husband could not provide any reason for the debt (as he could have easily met […]
Can you be best friends with your ex-spouse? That’s not a question I’ve been asked before. Most people I know who are divorced, including my clients, are ready to put the past behind them and want a fresh start. Best friends with your ex spouse? The short answer: Not usually. There are exceptions. It depends on the circumstances of your divorce and your feelings towards your ex-spouse after the settlement. When I think of a best friend, I think of someone I can trust and confide in. A friend whose company I enjoy, share favourite activities with and give support to one another. Is that the relationship you want with your ex-spouse? Perhaps a more relevant question is: Can you have a friendly relationship with your ex- spouse? By friendly, I mean one that is respectful, cordial, and cooperative. Yes, it’s possible. You can choose to have a have a friendly relationship with your ex-spouse but it usually happens over time. It takes time to recover from the emotional upheaval of your divorce and gain perspective on what happened. The need for a friendly, cooperative relationship with your ex-spouse is especially important, if you’ve had children together. Your ex-spouse […]
Shulamit Ber Levtov gives some helpful advice about how to help kids deal with their emotions and stress after Divorce.
Divorce is disruptive to every part of life. It is emotionall, physically and financially draining and it is not uncommon for a person to come out the other side of the process unsure of how to move forward. It can be a challenge to find your footing again after divorce. But it is possible. Abandon the “shoulds” The first step is to release all judgement about how you should or shouldn’t feel. Maybe you feel like you should feel relieved that it is all over. You might also think you should feel excited for the future now that the significant hurdle of divorce is in the past. The reality is there isn’t one way to feel about the prospect of moving on from your divorce. You might feel excited and happy, but you might also feel anxious and scared at the prospect of beginning what is inevitably a new phase of your life. All emotions are valid in this deeply personal process. Meet yourself where you are at and tell yourself it is OK. There are no timelines to the process of healing and “shoulding” on yourself is not going to make it any easier. Allow yourself time to reflect […]
Clean Beak hosts Tina Murray and Deron Givoque sit down with mortgage and real estate broker Chad Robinson to answer all the burning questions when it comes to mortgages and divorce!
Moving is a very common part of divorce. Often a matrimonial home must be sold as part of the settlement and both parties need to decide on another place to live. This can be complicated especially if kids are involved. What if one party wants to move to a completely different city? Is that possible with children in the picture? The short answer is yes. But it can be complicated. If you are the sole guardian of the children, have sole custody or if there is a written agreement or court order permitting you to move without the other parent’s consent it is definitely possible. However, if you have joint custody of the children there is a lot more that needs to be considered. Relocation disputes Relocation disputes can be extremely difficult and costly and unsurprisingly the issue has generated a lot of case law across Canada. If at all possible it is best to avoid them. It is always best to talk about your relocation plans with your ex before finalizing them. Providing plenty of notice might stop your ex from filing an urgent court application to keep you from moving. Communication is key because more often than not […]
Spousal support is one of the most contentious and complicated aspects of divorce. There are many factors that play into how much support one spouse owes the other once the divorce has been settled. In court proceedings it is often up to a judge to decide the amount and parameters for spousal support. However here are a few factors that may come into play when figuring out how much spousal support is due. Spousal support is not guaranteed Just because two people were married doesn’t mean that a spouse is entitled to spousal support. There are online calculators that are available to calculate potential spousal support, however they don’t take into consideration the important factor of entitlement. This means that: If a spouse has not suffered economic disadvantage as a result of the marriage or childcare responsibilities,has not become accustomed to a standard of living that is impossible to maintain on his/her income alone, or has not provided services to the other spouse or children for which they have not received compensation or other benefits, the spouse may not be entitled to spousal support. How much and how long? If the spouse IS entitled to spousal support the questions of […]
In part 2 of Daren Givoque and Tina Murray’s conversation with accountant Rick Evans he talks valuations, non-arms-length transactions and income tax. Not sure what these things have to do with each other? Listen in and find out!
Working out financials can be tricky when going through the divorce process. If you have been with your spouse for a while it is likely that you have shared debts, expenses and even shared bank accounts. Many couples choose to merge finances when getting married which can make things difficult when trying to navigate financials during separation. Here are a few options on how to deal with joint debts and bank accounts throughout the divorce process. Close any joint bank accounts This is an important step especially if you don’t know how the divorce process is going to go emotionally. If you don’t close joint accounts, you will both have access to the money in the account and be legally responsible for repaying any debts. This is the case even if your separation agreement says only one person is responsible for debts or can access the funds in the account. This is key if one of your goals is to have complete financial separation from your ex. Keep a joint account open Depending on your situation you and your former partner may wish to keep a joint account open for a period of time. For example, if your mortgage payments […]
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray sit down with Chartered Professional Accountant Rick Evans to talk about business valuation and how it relates to divorce. You won’t want to miss this deep dive into accounting as Rick takes some of the “what ifs” about divorce and money.
It may be surprising but professionals in Canada are saying that more and more millennials are signing prenups (called marriage contracts or cohabitation agreements in by professionals in Canada) before getting married or cohabiting. According to Global News a recent U.S. study found that an increasing number of young adults are requesting prenups to cover things like protection of property, spousal support and division of assets. Toronto-based family lawyer Rick Peticca told Global that the same trend is happening in Canada. Although it may sound counterintuitive for the notoriously cash-strapped generation to be creating contractual agreements to protect their assets the Global News article reported some significant reasons why prenups are on the rise for millennials. Firstly, millennials are typically staying in school and working for longer than people did 30-40 years ago. This means they have accumulated more assets when they finally decide to settle down. Some millennials may also be inheriting inter-generational wealth which they may wish to protect. In 2018 Global news reported a rise in “living inheritances” where Canadians are passing wealth on to their children or grandchildren before they die to help them buy homes, pay off debt, or enjoy for financial freedom. People are […]
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk to Exit Realty’s Wendy Embleton about how to navigate the real estate world after Divorce. She talks getting your house ready to sell, renting vs. buying and much more!
Before starting down the path of valuing your business, it is important for the client and business valuator to have a good understanding of why the business is being valued. There are many reason why you may need to determine the value of your business. Some of the more common examples of why you may need your business valued are: marital dissolution, litigation and ownership disputes, buy/sell agreements, business planning and estate, gift and tax planning purposes. There are potentially different users of a valuation report, including: company shareholders, potential purchasers, the Courts and the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) A valuation report prepared for one purpose is not necessarily appropriate for another purpose. The purpose for which the valuation report was prepared can have a significant impact on the determined value and whether or not it will be accepted by the users of the report. Understanding the purpose of the valuation report will, amongst other things, help you determine: The Valuation Date: The underlying concept of value is that value is determined as at a point in time. The purpose of the valuation will have an impact on the valuation date. The valuation date for family law purposes will usually […]
Getting divorced is not only extremely emotionally draining but it can also be a huge financial stress. Depending on your situation divorce proceedings can be very expensive, not to mention that fact that you no longer have another person to help pay daily living costs. If you have racked up a lot of debt while going through divorce you are not alone. Money is a huge worry for many people and it can add even more stress to an already difficult situation. The weight of debt can make your divorce feel like it is lingering and infiltrating into the rest of your life, making it difficult to move on. If this sounds like your situation here are a few tips on hour to conquer your debt and cut the last few strings tying you to your divorce. Ditch the credit cards The temptation of credit cards to “buy now and pay later” is tricky. The interest rate on credit cards is high so if you don’t pay them off within the designated period you will be paying a lot to borrow the money. When trying to eliminate debt it just makes sense to get rid of anything that might allow […]
Are you separating or divorcing and confused by what you’re feeling? Do you wonder what’s the matter with you? There’s actually nothing wrong with you. What you’re feeling are the natural reactions to stressful events. You might feel pissed off, confused, worn out, afraid, sad, depressed, hopeless, guilty, frustrated… the list might be endless. These are all understandable and reasonable things to be feeling in the face of change, loss and the unknown. And if you’re feeling some emotion I didn’t mention—like maybe relief or even happiness—that’s OK too. Whatever you’re feeling might suck, you might hate it, but it’s OK. Emotions are part of the human experience. Here are three ways to cope with your emotions 1) Turn toward your emotions, instead of telling yourself you shouldn’t be feeling this way. This could be as simple as placing a gentle hand on your chest and saying to yourself, “It makes sense what I’m feeling, given what I’m going through right now.” 2) Make space for your emotions. This can mean journalling, talking to a friend, working with a therapist or anything else that works for you as an intentional way to express what you’re feeling. What’s important is to take time to do this regularly. 3) […]
Every asset you have has a different tax implication. It is very important to consider this during the equalization process when going through divorce. While things like the couple’s primary residence and TFSA are not taxable there are many other types of property that will be subject to either capital gains tax or income tax upon liquidation. Matrimonial homes While your primary residence is not taxable other matrimonial homes (like cottages) are subject to tax. If the cottage is used as leverage in the equalization process, it is important to consider how much capital gains tax you will pay if you decide to sell. For example, if you bought the cottage for $100,000 and sold it for $200,000 you will be taxed on half the growth. This means that you will pay income tax based on your tax bracket on $50,000. This can make a huge difference in the amount of tax you are paying because a sudden increase of $50,000 will likely bump you into a higher tax bracket, causing your income to be taxed more heavily if/when you sell the cottage. Pensions When planning for retirement it is important to plan for what your average tax bracket will […]
Over the past few years there has been a rise in divorces worldwide for people in their later years. Called “grey divorce” researchers have documented a sharp increase in the divorce rates for aging baby boomers in the U.S., Australia, India and the U.K. Although Statistics Canada does not record current data on age-based divorce some experts say the same can be said in Canada. The National Post reported last year that according to data from Shulman Law Firm the percentage of people 50 and older getting a divorce has jumped from 10 per cent to 40 per cent in the past 10 years. So why the rise in divorce rates in the older population? There are several factors at play here. We are living longer Between 1921 and 2005 Canadians gained about 20 years of life expectancy, from 58.8 to 78 years for men and 60.6 to 82.7 years for women. By 2031 this could rise to 81.9 for men and 86 for women. Because people are living longer it may be that they are more aware of the time they will be expected to spend with their partner. Depending on how the relationship has fared over the years […]
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk with lawyer Jamie Mookerjea about spousal support and everything you need to know while going through separation and divorce.
During a separation or divorce, couples may fight over the house and kids. But for some families, the RESP might be a considerable asset that can also cause a tug-of-war. Here’s what you need to know about your child’s education savings in the event of a break-up. A separation or divorce can be an acrimonious time, rife with fights over the house, the money, and even the dishes. An RESP, or Registered Education Savings Plan, that families set up years ago for the children can become part of the battle — especially if it is considered one of the family’s big assets. If you have children, you may have opened an RESP to save for their education. It’s an investment that allows contributors to save money for a child’s (the beneficiary’s) post-secondary education. Contributions to an RESP can be supplemented by grants and incentives from the federal and certain provincial governments. It can be a smart way to invest and grow money for the purposes of saving for education. RESPs can be a really good way to save for a child’s education. The money can grow on a tax-deferred basis and the federal government can add grants of up to […]
Clean Break hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk with family lawyer Darrin Clayton about mediation and working with couples through divorce.
When a marriage breaks down one of the first things to go is trust. When there is mistrust in a marriage it is not uncommon for the two people to hide things like assets from each other. This can be serious during a divorce because the Family Law Act dictates that each spouse must disclose all their assets so there can be a fair and equitable settlement. Why would someone hide assets? A person might hide assets for multiple reasons. Maybe they don’t trust the law to divide the assets fairly and they believe they will have to pay more than is fair. They might also have assets that have been amassed from illegal activities. A person might also think that if it looks like they have less money they will be able to avoid having to pay spousal or child support. Where would they hide assets? A person who wants to hide money from their spouse and the law might do so in several ways. Unfortunately, it can be as simple as enlisting a friend to open a bank account that their spouse doesn’t know about. According to legalline.ca other ways include: Lending money to family or friendsGenerating fake […]
Making the decision to get a divorce is not easy and it is no secret that they can be expensive. How expensive depends on a variety of factors, some of which you have control over, some of which you don’t. Here are five tips for keeping divorce costs low in Ontario. Settle out of court Uncontested divorces are always cheaper than contested divorces. An uncontested divorce is when a couple is able to settle on a separation agreement without the need for litigation. It is still a good idea to hire a lawyer but staying out of court will save you a considerable amount of time and money. According to Canadian Lawyer Magazine’s 2015 survey, the average divorce lawyer’s fees in Ontario for an uncontested divorce were $1,217. The cost of court fees, where a judge certifies the separation agreement and grants the divorce, is a total of $447. While this number is still in the thousands it pales in comparison to the fees you will be paying if your divorce ends up in court. Canadian Lawyer Magazine estimated in 2015 that the average contested divorce will cost roughly $8,747, over four times the cost of a divorce that has […]
Are you feeling bitter about your previous relationship? Would you like to date again but want to know what to avoid? Here are three relationship red flags and the one issue that prevents you from seeing them. They say too much too soon, and think you’re “the one” on the first date or maybe even before you’ve met. I’m a believer in love at first sight, and even thinking or “knowing” “they’re the one” right away. At the same time, I recommend taking time to let things unfold. Sometimes excitement, fantasies and hormones can lead us astray. Relationships are like plants. Healthy relationships grow slowly and steadily. When a person reveals too much at first, that’s a sign they don’t really know what’s healthy and unhealthy in a relationship. As the relationship matures, the other person stops “being romantic.” As I said, relationships are like plants. If you don’t care for them, they’ll die. They are nurtured accidentally or effortlessly in the beginning because being together is very compelling. But as time goes on, the connection still needs to be nourished. If you notice your dating partner less and less willing to nurture the relationship, this is a red flag. […]
In July 2005 the Supreme Court of Canada declared same sex marriage legal in all provinces across Canada. The enactment of the Civil Marriage Act made Canada the fourth country in the world and the first outside of Europe to recognize gay marriage as legal. However, there are always a certain percentage of marriages that will end in separation or divorce. An article in the Washington Post in 2014 reported that the divorce rate for same-sex couples is about the same as heterosexual couples, at about 38 per cent in Canada. For Canadian same-sex couples who are married the process for obtaining a divorce is straightforward. Gay spouses go through the same process as heterosexual couples do when it comes to the termination of the marital regime. Marriage is marriage and it is treated the same. The so called “collateral” issues of parenting, child and spousal support and division of property and debts is more complicated. In addition, many couples never marry and instead live together as unmarried spouses. Couples who may have lived together for a long time before marriage was on the table may also find that matters are more complicated. For example, the length of their marriage […]
In this digital age most people have some form of social media. Sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are intertwined into our existence and many people use them to share many aspects of their lives. While social media can be great for keeping up with friends and family it opens a whole can of worms for people facing a separation or divorce. Depending on how long you were with your ex you may have years of photos and memories archived online that you would now rather forget. What you post can also affect divorce proceedings in a way that was not possible in days before social media. Here are a few tips on how to handle social media when going through a separation or divorce. Enlist help Get a friend to come over and help you curate your social media profiles. Delete friends you no longer want to keep in touch with and un-tag yourself from photos with your ex. Depending on how riddled your social media is with posts about your relationship you may want to de-activate the account altogether and start fresh. This can be a great way to ensure that memories don’t pop up on your […]
Are you going through a breakup? Are you confused by your feelings? Or wondering when you’ll stop feeling this way? Here are three secrets about breakups, and two key ways to help you feel better. Secret number one: Breaking up sucks. It just plain sucks. And how you’re feeling is normal. A relationship break-up is a kind of death. It’s the death of the relationship but also the death of your vision for the future, of how you imagined life would be. These can be profound losses, and of course there may be many more associated losses I haven’t mentioned, so no wonder it’s hitting you hard. You might feel sadness, loss, anger, relief, isolation, guilt, shame, and all kinds of other emotions. Ups and downs are normal. Not wanting to feel what you’re feeling is normal. Snapping or crying at the drop of a hat is normal. All this is normal. You’re not going crazy. Secret number two: Grief isn’t linear. If you’ve googled anything about grieving, you may have seen something about the 7 stages of grief. While you may experience some of those things, that model was developed for people diagnosed with terminal illness. So, if it […]
Weddings are often a joyous occasion and people keep many keepsakes from their big day. From the wedding dress, place cards, photo album, a guest book, cards, marriage license and of course wedding rings, these are all items that are kept to remind a couple of the day they said I do. So what happens to these mementos if your marriage ends in divorce? It may be extremely difficult for you to figure out what to do with these items that once sparked joy and may now trigger anger, pain and sadness. Deciding what to do with wedding memorabilia is a very person decision and it will largely depend on how the characterization of the marriage and divorce. Throwing children into the mix can also have an impact on how you see and deal with these items. Here are a few of the most common wedding mementos and some options for what to do with them. Wedding dress Sell it. Make some money off it and use the money for some self care like a spa day or vacation with your kids. Use the dress to help fund some new happy memories. Donate it. There are lots of places that […]
Life is busy and keeping on top of everything can be difficult at the best of times. Carving out time for self-care is important for everyone but it is even more essential when going through a major life change like separation or divorce. Here are three ways you can take care of yourself to make sure you don’t end up in mental and physical burn out. Give yourself time Many people going through separation or divorce want to get it over with. It can be a painful process and it may seem very attractive to make quick decisions to just to get though the process as quickly as possible. On the other hand, some people feel paralyzed with anxiety and fear when it comes to making any decision regarding their separation because they feel immense pressure to make the best decision for themselves and their children. The key here is to give yourself time. Allow yourself the time to process your emotions and get in touch with the right professionals who will help guide you through the process. Rushing through it or feeling bad because you can’t seem to make any decisions will not help you in the long run. […]
For many couples who are separating figuring out what to do with the matrimonial home is one of the biggest concerns. When deciding what to do with any real estate it is important to consult both a mortgage advisor and a lawyer. That said, here are the three options for dealing with the family home. Sell it Selling the matrimonial home is one of the more popular options when it comes to separation or divorce. When you put your house up for sale make sure you: Hire a Realtor to provide you with the estimated market value of your propertyCalculate your respective net proceeds from the sale and be sure to keep in mind that the proceeds may not be divided in half. The division will depend on your divorce settlement. When selling be sure to maximize the resale value of your home. The equity from the sale typically needs to fund the down payment for two new purchases so every dollar counts! One party buys the other out This option tends to be the most stable for families at it allows children to remain in the home where they are most comfortable. However, it requires a lot of financial […]
When going through a separation or divorce it is a good idea to talk to a professional that can help you through the many difficult emotions that come with a failed relationship. No matter what your needs are there is probably a trained professional out there that can help you work through the painful feelings and move on with your life. That being said, there are a few things you should know about therapy before you commit to the process. Here are the top 8 things you should consider before you start therapy. Choose the right therapist for you Not every therapist can be everything to everyone. Credentials are important so look for someone whose practice is overseen by a regulatory body like the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, the College of Psychologists of Ontario, or the Ontario College of Social Workers. Finding the right fit is just as important as the credentials they hold. You want to make sure that the therapist you are seeing not only has the right training, expertise and experience, but also has a personality and style that meshes with yours. It is ok to comparison shop and see a few different therapists before […]
Daren Givoque and guest host Megan Cummings talk with Life Coach Vickie Townson about making life changes and moving forward after separation or divorce.
Many people react to adverse circumstances like separation or divorce with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty. The good news is that, in general, people adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions. I know—because I’ve seen it in my clients over and over—that people have the skills and resources they need to bounce back. The problem is, when you’re under stress, you forget your strengths and skills. Here are 5 reminders of things that will help you as you regain your footing and move forward with your life: Make connections. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Choose your confidants carefully and they will be excellent resources Acknowledge that change is a part of life. Some change feels good and some feels bad. With changes you don’t like, might help to say to yourself, “This is tough. I don’t like it. AND change is a part of life. I deal with change all the time. I can handle this. Make yourself a “done” list. It can feel daunting to see an endless “to-do” list and only be able to cross off one or […]
Valentines Day. A day that is a wonderful celebration of love for those in a relationship but can be difficult for those who are single or recently separated or divorced. Valentines Day can make newly single people want to sit alone and wallow in self pity. Here are a few things you can do to take your focus of your single status and make the best out of the day of love. Celebrate Pal-entines Day Instead of focusing on romantic love send valentines day cards to your family and friends. Focusing in on the other types of love in your life will remind you that you are not alone. Make a date with your best friend, call your brother or sister or send flowers to your mother. There are many other types of love to celebrate other than romantic love between significant others. Have an evening of self-care Valentines Day can also be a great excuse to celebrate the most important person in your life: You. Have a bubble bath, watch your favourite movie or cook yourself your favourite meal. Heck, do all three! Cultivating self-love is the best thing you can do when you are going through a tough […]
If you have been educating yourself about divorce you may have come across the term annulment. In Ontario there are two types of annulments: religious and legal. In the Catholic Church a divorce is not enough for a marriage to be recognized as terminated. This means that if you plan on getting married again in the same faith you must get an annulment. Even if you get a religious annulment you must still get either a legal annulment or a divorce for the court to consider your marriage dissolved. Simply put, in order to completely separate from your spouse in the eyes of the court AND the Catholic Church you must get a religious annulment and a divorce/legal annulment. If you are looking to get a religious annulment it is best to speak to your local priest. Requests for annulments usually go to a marriage tribunal where an initial evaluation is made of the possible grounds for nullity. There are several things that can be grounds for a marriage to be considered void, all based in canon law. The marriage tribunal will often use the testimony of both spouses as well as witnesses to decide whether to grant the annulment. […]
DivorceNet Chair Daren Givoque & Vice-Chair Tina Murray talk about the value of building your team when taking the first steps in the divorce process.
Divorce is hard on everyone and all the more so on kids. Kids experience none of the possible empowerment a divorce can eventually bring, and often feel the brunt of the losses as a result. They are also developmentally less able to cope with stress and change without support. Kids experience many losses in divorce They experience losses in: their future. Even if they have never formally thought about it, they most likely imagined living as a family (with both parents), until they grew up and moved out. Now the family looks different. their home. Many divorces result in the sale of the family home and a move. their friends and relatives. If the family moves, the children’s relationships with their friends may be disrupted because of distance; relationships with family members, such as aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins may also change depending on the nature of the post-separation relationship between the parents and their families. In addition to all the changes they are experiencing, they will be grieving. The main thing to remember is that kids of all ages may have challenges verbalizing their upset. It is more likely for kids to show their distress than to talk about […]
There are very concrete rules in place when it comes to property division when a married couple divorces. But how does property division work for common-law couples who choose to separate? In Canada a couple is considered to be common-law when they are in a conjugal relationship have lived together for at least one year. The law and process for them is different from a married couple and can be quite complex. The couple may have to provide extensive accounting evidence for what they paid for during their common law relationship. This accounting exercise can go back decades and it can be very difficult for couples to determine their intent regarding the purchase and sharing of property many years in the past. The court will have to decide whether the house they live in and other assets are a joint family venture. Even if the house is in only one spouse’s name the other spouse has likely contributed to it through upkeep, renovations and the rearing of children throughout the years. Courts will decide whether the home and other assets are a joint family venture by looking at several factors: Mutual effort Have the parties worked together towards a common […]
Jim Jeffcott, partner at Low Murchison Radnoff LLP is a big proponent of collaborative practice. He chats with our Clean Break hosts about how it can help make the divorce process a little bit easier.
Many people believe that when you get a divorce all property is divided down the middle. This is not the case. In Ontario lawyers use something called equalization to ensure that each party gets what they are entitled to. Equalization is a fancy legal term that is essentially the payment from one spouse to another to make life equal. So how does it work? Lawyers will take a picture the of both party’s net worth at both the date of marriage and the dated of separation. Net worth is defined as assets (financial property) minus liabilities (debts or other financial obligations). Lawyers will take a look at these two pictures because the law dictates that you must look at the increase in net worth of each party from marriage to separation. If both parties end up increasing their net worth the same amount throughout the marriage neither of them owe anything to the other. If there is anything held in joint names, like a house, it must be sold, or if both parties agree, there can be a buy out. However, in most cases there is an increase in net worth for both parties but one will have increased more […]
There are many reasons why people get divorced in Canada. While it varies from case to case here are a few of the top reasons in the country that people get divorced. Money Money tends to be the TOP stressor in most relationships. According to a poll done by the Bank of Montreal 68 per cent of those surveyed say that fighting over money was the top reason for their divorce. This can happen when two people don’t see eye to eye about money. If budgets are not followed and there isn’t money to support children or pay basic living expenses this can cause a lot of stress in a relationship. Also, if one person is a spender and the other values saving money this can also cause marital issues. Infidelity Infidelity is also one of the top reasons people get divorced. People cheat for different reasons but it is often caused by underlying issues like anger, resentment, or different sexual appetites. Divorces that are caused by infidelity are often messy because there is a lot of hurt and blame involved. The spouse who has been cheated on can harbour a lot of feelings of resentment and may feel the […]
Talking to your kids about divorce can be one of the most difficult conversation you will have. Here are a few tips that will help make the conversation go as smoothly as possible.
It is not uncommon for couples to stay together for the sake of the children. While this works for some, for many it can cause even more issues in the development of the children. Here are 4 reasons why you shouldn’t stay together just for the kids.
The holidays can be difficult. If you are in the middle of a divorce it can be even more challenging. Here are a few tips for surviving the season while going through the divorce process.
Professional Certified Coach Vickie Townson shares some tips on how to create new holiday memories and traditions after a separation or divorce.
Co-parenting through the holidays can be challenging. Here are a few tips from lawyer Kathleen Wright about how to move through the holiday season with your children as smoothly as possible.
Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult things you will go through in your life. You need a team of professionals to help. Here are the top three professionals who are essential to have on your divorce team.
Hosts Daren Givoque and Tina Murray talk to Registered Psychotherapist Natalie Carrière about how she helps people going through divorce find the light in one of their darkest times. She not only helps people build a new life for themselves but also develop a new sense of self which is very important after divorce.
Choosing a divorce lawyer is one of the most important decisions you will make in the divorce process. Here are 5 things to consider when choosing a divorce lawyer.
Family lawyer Kate Wright explains what the difference is between being separated and divorced.
Clean Break hosts Tina Murray and Daren Givoque talk to Insurance Agent Justin Rice about what divorcing couples need to watch out for when it comes to their insurance. Justin talks about the types of insurance they might need as well as the importance of keeping your insurance agent in the loop during any big life change.
Bringing up the topic of divorce with your spouse will never be easy. Here are some things to consider that will help make the conversation go more smoothly and set you up for a more manageable divorce process.
Registered psychotherapist Natalie Carriere talks about 8 things you you should know about therapy before choosing a therpist.
A few tips from a financial expert on how to protect your credit during the divorce process
Home Inspector Iain Detchon talks with Daren and Tina about the role of a home inspector and how they can help. The last thing you need when going through a divorce is the stress of a house sale and Iain explains how a home inspector can take the guesswork out of the equation so you know exactly where you stand when buying or selling you home.
There are many decisions that need to be made once a couple has decided to end their relationship. Contrary to popular belief there several options to choose from for couples that want to stay out of court and resolve things as smoothly and cost-effectively as possible. Here are a few of the available options for divorce processes and some tips about how to decide which one would work best for you. Uncontested Divorce An uncontested divorce works best when both parties are getting along and generally want the best for each other. This process relies on both spouses working together to agree on the terms of the divorce. In an uncontested divorce both parties file separate paperwork with the court before amicably parting ways. Because things like division of assets and child support are decided on at the outset there is no need for hearings, settlement negotiations or other court procedures. If things are amicable an uncontested divorce is a great option because it allows the couple to end things congenially and with dignity. Mediation Hiring a mediator is a good option when both parties are frustrated and hurt but are still willing to work together to reach a settlement […]
The idea of dating after divorce can seem very daunting. It may be years since you have been on a date and you could be wondering where to start. Depending on how long you have been single you may be feeling the pressure from family and friends to “get back out there”. However, there are some important things to consider upon re-entering the dating world, especially if your goal is to meet a new life partner. Make sure you are ready It is very important to be honest with yourself when it comes to deciding whether you are ready to start dating. Are you ready to take the lessons you learned from your past relationship and apply them to a new one? Or are the memories still too painful and fresh? The amount of time it takes to heal from a divorce varies for everyone and it is important to make sure you are ready before you “test the waters” and start dating. If you are still feeling emotionally vulnerable from your divorce it may be difficult to make good choices in a new relationship. Know your values As part of the healing process, getting to know yourself again is […]
There are many reasons why people get divorced in Canada. According to a poll by the Bank of Montreal 68 per cent of those surveyed say fighting over money caused dissolution of their marriage. Other reasons include infidelity, falling out of love and domestic abuse. While every couple has their own reasons for deciding to end their relationship there are only three reasons that are legal grounds to get a divorce in Canada. In order to officially split from your partner you must have proof that one of these three things have occurred. You have been living separately from your spouse for one year To use separation as grounds for divorce you must prove that you have been living separately from your spouse for at least one year. Even if you can’t afford to live in separate homes you can still use separation as grounds for divorce if you can prove that you have been living separate lives. This means you are not sharing a room, helping each other with household chores, sharing meals or attending family or social gatherings together. It is more difficult to prove that you are separated while living in the same house, but it is […]
It is no secret that around 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce. Even though it is quite commonplace it is not something that is talked about openly. When going through the divorce process it is hard to anticipate how it is going to go and how you’re going to feel. Here are a few things that aren’t often talked about when it comes to separation and divorce. Your financial situation will change completely Divorce is costly in many ways. Suddenly your income may change drastically, and you must ensure you can pay your legal bills during the divorce and have enough money to support yourself and possibly your children once the divorce is finalized. There may also be child support and alimony to be considered as well. Whether you are the payer or the payee this needs to be worked into your finances. Your tax bracket may also change because you are now surviving on a single income. Talking to a professional like a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can help you prepare a plan that will ensure you have all your bases covered during and after the divorce. Your friends may stop calling It is likely that […]
Daren and Tina interview Kemptville/Cornwall-based lawyer Tom Byrne about all things legal having to do with divorce. Tom delves into the difference between separation for married and common law couples and answers all the burning questions about the intricacies of the law when it comes to divorce in Ontario.
Any change is stressful, for both adults and kids. The degree of impact may differ, but the effect of change is the same. It is important to keep in mind that kids express their stress through their behaviour. Being able to know you’re experiencing an emotion, labelling that emotion, and expressing it in words are developmental skills. Some kids don’t have these skills yet, or don’t have them fully developed. As a parent, you can keep an eye out for difficult behaviour that’s out of the norm for your child. This is how you can tell whether or not your child is stressed. If you notice “acting out” behaviour, you could make a point of regular parent-child “dates” where you simply hang out (do your nails together, go for a hike, grab a pizza slice) and, in casual conversation, invite your child to talk about how they are doing. This will give your child an opportunity to express what’s going on in words, and, if you listen carefully, you can get information that can help you respond to what’s bothering them. If your child won’t talk about what’s on their mind, you could make some guesses about what it’s like […]
After the upheaval of your divorce, you have the opportunity for a fresh start and to explore your answer to the question “Now what?”. The challenge is avoiding things that can interfere with your plans for the future. Here are three common pitfalls of recently divorced people and how to avoid them. Allowing the advice of others to influence the choices you make It is natural to look for support from family and friends when you are going through a divorce. With so many decisions to be made it’s helpful to have the advice of an expert or to ask for a second opinion, especially when the decision has long-term consequences. But as you make plans for your future, you may find yourself receiving unsolicited advice. With the best of intentions, friends and family are often eager to give you advice on what they believe is best for you. Remember, their advice is based on their perspective on life and their experience. It may not take into account your vision for your life or include any new ideas and plans that may be percolating in your mind. If the advice doesn’t feel right or you are leaning towards taking the […]
It is not unusual for people to hide their heads in the sand when it comes to the reality of a failed relationship. Deciding when to get a divorce is not easy and comes with significant heartbreak and emotional upheaval, no matter how unhappy the marriage has become. It is difficult for many people to realize when it is time to pull the plug, especially if they have been in an unhappy marriage for a long time. Here are some of the tell-tale signs that getting a divorce may be the best option for you and your partner. No communication Communication is a key component to any relationship. It ensures that you grow together as a couple rather than apart. While it is normal for communication in a relationship to go through peaks and valleys it becomes a problem if you or your spouse are not willing to work things out when you are going through a tough time. Often one spouse is present, while the other is starting to pull away and is not willing to talk it out either one on one or in therapy. It takes effort from both parties to move on from a communication breakdown […]
There are a lot of new things that come with divorce and separation. If you and your ex were sharing a vehicle it may be time for you to look at investing in your own. Buying a car is not a small commitment and doing it solo can be extremely overwhelming. Here are the top three things you need to consider to make sure that you invest in the vehicle that is right for you. Identify your needs Consider your lifestyle and how many people you need to transport on a regular basis. Are you looking for a compact car for one to get you to work or a van that will be able to transport your children and half the hockey team? What matters to you most, fuel efficiency or maximum performance? How far will you be driving daily and how long do you hope the car will last? These are just some of the important questions to ask yourself when deciding what type of vehicle to purchase. Buying a car is very personal and there are more than enough makes and models out there at various price ranges to make sure you get a car that fits you […]
Clean Break co-host Daren Givoque talks with Tina about his process and experience as one of the few Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFA) in Eastern Ontario. Find out what a CDFA is and how they can help you feel secure financially in one of the most uncertain times of your life.
For some people getting a mortgage can be an onerous task. There are several factors that come into play that can make it even more difficult for a recently separated person to invest in a new property. It is advisable to wait until the separation is finalized before you purchase a new property. This will ensure that the dust has settled, all joint debts are taken care of and legal financial obligations like child support and alimony are outlined. That being said, the divorce process can take years and many people don’t want to wait that long to purchase a new home. This is where the separation agreement comes in. For people going through the divorce process lenders will rely heavily on the separation agreement to dictate the mortgage they will approve. A separation agreement should outline everything from the division of the matrimonial home, to child support payments and alimony. It gives the banks and lenders a good idea of what your financial situation will look like post-divorce. In some situations, a signed affidavit is enough to replace a fully executed separation agreement. This only happens when there is no matrimonial home (or it is sold already) and child […]
Selling your house can be overwhelming at the best of times. Putting your family home on the market because of a separation or divorce is another can of worms. During the divorce process tensions are running high and stress can be at it’s max. Getting a good price for the family home is often integral in the divorce settlement so that both parties can move on comfortably. During a divorce there isn’t a lot of money to throw around either, as the divorce itself can be quite expensive. Here are a few tips and tricks that can make your house stand out, without breaking the bank. Declutter your home This is something you will want to do when you move anyway, so why not do it ahead of time? People looking at your house want to be able to imagine their stuff in the home and having your personal items all over the house can get in the way of that. Not only do you want to get rid of any unnecessary items you also want to make sure to de-personalize the home. Put family photos away, take your name off the mailbox, get rid of or stow anything that […]
Separation or divorce often means reorganizing your entire life. From living arrangements to where you get your coffee in the morning, people usually want a fresh start. When it comes to maintaining family vehicles typically one spouse has the knowledge or connections. If this isn’t you, you may be left in the lurch. Here are some key tips for proper general vehicle maintenance that will ensure that you and your family are safe, and your vehicle stays on the road as long as possible. Regular maintenance Taking your vehicle in to get regular oil changes, tire rotation and break maintenance is one of the most important things you can do. A good mechanic should also do an assessment of the general health of the vehicle at the time of the visit to make sure there aren’t any glaring issues that need to be addressed. Having a quick check up for your car is important not only for the health of the vehicle but also for the safety of yourself and others on the road. You can use your warranty anywhere One big automotive myth is that you need to take your vehicle back to the dealership to ensure your warranty […]
Buying a house is not easy and the complex mortgage industry doesn’t make it any easier. There are few factors that go into whether a bank or private lender will give you a mortgage. Some people think that as long as you have a good income getting a mortgage will be easy, but that is not necessarily the case. Banks and other lenders rely heavily on debt servicing ratios to decide whether a person is eligible for a mortgage and how much they will lend. Gross Debt Servicing and Total Debt Servicing are calculated with every mortgage application to decide how much the lender is willing to finance. What is Gross Debt Servicing? Gross Debt Servicing (GDS) is a key debt servicing ratio that lenders look at to see whether they will finance a mortgage on a property. The GDS is calculated by adding up all your housing related costs (mortgage agents call this PITH, principal, interest, taxes, heat) and dividing it by your net taxable income. In Ontario your PITH generally cannot represent more than 39 per cent of your income. What is Total Debt Servicing? Total Debt Servicing (TDS) is another important debt servicing ratio that lenders look […]
Join Daren and Tina in this candid conversation with a woman who knows what it’s like to have her world torn apart by divorce. Cathy Sheppard, president of the Kemptville-based accounting firm Sheppard and Associates, talks all things accounting and gives some practical advice for anyone contemplating ending a relationship.
Most people do not decide to divorce or separate from their partner overnight. It often takes many months, and even years, of thought before one or both people decide to put an official end to a relationship. As a productivity specialist and someone who has experienced divorce first-hand I know how crucial being organized in your thoughts and actions can be for getting through the divorce process. Here are a few of the most important steps to take once you have finally decided that a divorce is on the table. Congratulate yourself This may seem strange but using positive enforcement is key to protecting your mental health through this process. Getting a divorce is a huge, life-altering event. There is a lot of guilt and shame surrounding divorce and separation and not enough people talk about how brave it is. Often ending the relationship is the best decision for you and your partner’s well-being. Rather than wallow in self pity and guilt, say to yourself “good for me.” You are taking steps to address your needs and that deserves to be congratulated. Get a good divorce lawyer Make sure you hire a good lawyer who you trust and knows […]
There are a lot of things to learn/re-learn about life after divorce or separation. If you have kids, new routines need to be created and custody rights need to be observed. Traveling with your children after you have separated from their other parent is something that needs your attention as it is much more complicated now that you are no longer with your spouse. Here are some things to keep in mind if you want to travel with your kids post-separation. Plan in advance Make sure to plan out when you want to travel with your children because you must ensure there is consent to travel from the other parent. You must consider the timing and whether the trip interferes with their other parent’s scheduled time with the children. You will also want to check if there are any travel restrictions or warnings for your planned destination and alert the other parent if there are. If there is a joint custody arrangement, the other parent may not agree for the child(ren) to go to a place that has travel restrictions. Review your Separation Agreement or Parenting Plan Make sure you know what your Separation Agreement or Parenting Plan says when […]
We all have a dialogue that plays in our head. During stressful times this dialogue can either get in the way or help you cope. The problem for most of us is that our inner voice can be highly critical. And this can be exacerbated when you’re going through a particularly emotional situation. A divorce can trigger a whole gamut of emotions: Grief, shame, sadness, regret and fear are all common when dealing with a marital breakdown. More positive emotions like relief may also be a part of your experience. No emotion is off the table. When going through a divorce you’ll have to make a lot of important decisions that will shape your new life. This can be extremely difficult when you’re dealing with all those emotions. Your inner dialogue may be contributing to your distress as it overwhelms you with thoughts of failure and self-doubt. It’s important to realize that you’re not alone in this experience and there is something you can do about it. You’re not alone Everyone deals with anxiety and self-doubt. Even top athletes (who have won world championships and Olympic medals) talk about the little voice inside their head that undermines them as they […]
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